This Week In Moral Panic

I happen to think gay marriage is ridiculous. Simple logic backs me up. A man and a woman can create a baby. Two dudes cannot. Case closed. But, human societies engage in all sort of ridiculous things for no reason other than to make the ruling class feel good. The hilarious part of modern times is our ruling class is composed of fruitcakes and pansies that soil themselves at the mere hint of difficulty. So much so they are pacing the floors at night worried that the homos will be cross with them. The governor of Hawaii is in such a panic over the homos he is calling a special session of the legislature to ram through, ahem, queer marriage. I’m sure the ten gays hoping to tie the knot on the island are grateful.

The state of Hawaii has 1.4 citizens. Half are too old or too young to get married so that leaves up with about 700,000 adults of marrying age. About 3% are going to be homosexual so that means 21,000 gays in Hawaii. Using census data, I find that .2% of the population are in a same sex relationship, sharing a household. Let’s assume they are the marrying gays and we get about 1400 Hawaiians looking to marry someone of the same sex. Granted, my math is crude here, but the point is to show we are talking about a policy affecting a trivial number of people. The way the governor is carrying on you would think these people are being held as slaves, not looking for a better deal on health insurance. But, public acts of piety are about pleasing the supplicant as much as the public.

Then we have this ridiculous story. There is no shortage of eggs on this planet. Eggs are so cheap they may as well be free. The carton they come in costs more than the eggs. As humans we have screwed up a lot of easy stuff in the last fifty years, but somehow we managed to let the egg business alone. The result is a bounty of one the world’s super foods. Eggs are incredibly healthy for us and pack a bunch of nutrition in a small package. But, the chickens are possibly being offended and we cannot have that so we now have an egg substitute that, wait for it, tastes like eggs! The plan to sell it to moonbats at Whole Foods means it will cost twice as much as eggs. After all, that’s the point of Whole Foods. They have the same food as the normal store, but they sell grace along with it. In fact, every five dollar banana comes with a healthy dollop of sanctimonious preening.