Note: This is a rewrite of a popular post from four years ago, the last time I had a reason to think about international kick-ball. I’ve expanded on the topic a bit and updated the references to make it more timely. This will be the last soccer post for four years.
Way back in the olden thymes, when the World Cup was held in the United States, I went to the games played in Foxboro. I happen to be at the airport when the Greek team arrived, so I got to see them buying Marlboros at the gift shop. Seeing a bunch of swarthy guys chain smoking outside the terminal is my main memory of international soccer. That and how all of them were glaring at every piece of tail in sight. It was as if they just got out of prison. Little dogs and little men have no control of their sex drive.
That said, it was a good time in Boston during the World Cup and I had fun at the games I attended. Soccer is boring, dull and tedious on television. The fake injuries are so absurd and embarrassing it is hard to tolerate. In person, the game is much better. When Raul collapses in a heap, acting like he took a cannonball to the knee, the crowd roars in unison, thus making it more like a stage play than a sporting event. You lose that interplay on TV, so it comes off as absurd. That and the Greek fans I was with knew how to jeer.
Watching soccer live is also better than TV, because you get to see the players that are not involved in the play. They are often chatting with one another like they are old friends bumping into one another on a stroll. On TV, the camera follows the ball and the players all look busy. Live, you also get a better sense of what’s really happening. The strategy comes into focus sooner than on TV. Since most of the games are fixed, it all makes more sense when you get to see all of the action and not just the group around the ball.
World Cup soccer and Olympic soccer are fun because so much is at stake. The Little League World Series gets big TV ratings in the U.S. for the same reason. People don’t watch little kids play baseball, unless it’s their kids. Put the same kids in an international tournament and suddenly the nation gets interested. There’s also the fact that the World Cup features the best players in the world. The fact is, Lionel Mesi or Neymar kicking a ball around will always seem more thrilling than two unknown guys.
Now, what has always turned me off about soccer is the cultural angle. When I was a boy, our betters in America were trying to force soccer and the metric system on us. The people doing it were all loathsome snobs. Worse yet, all of them were the children of working class people who should have known better. But, their parents sent them off to the state college and they came back thinking they were sophisticated citizens of the world, so they loved soccer. Yep, soccer was a Boomer fetish.
Even all these year on, I still think of those smug assholes of my youth, whenever soccer comes to my attention. I associate it with the ridiculous poseurs who turn up in every Progressive cultural fad. I’ve probably heard “it is the most popular sport in the world” a million times in my life. That is the sort of thing stupid people say when they want to sound sophisticated. In most of the world, soccer is the sport of the poor and lower classes. That means our bourgeois bohemians are aping the mores of chavs. Good job phonies!
A recent development, one that I find most irritating, is the fake passion of cosmopolitan men for Premiere League teams in Britain. They saw videos of Euro-guy with his hands on his head in agony over a soccer match and now they are pretending to have had a lifelong passion for a soccer club in England. I have a friend who used to call soccer “fag ball” until about a decade ago. He became a vegan and started following soccer. He wears a Man U jersey. He says “footie” now. He went bald and his wife is fat. That’s justice.
It is all a pose, of course. What’s odious about the poseur is he turns his self-loathing into your problem. The poseur apes the styles and attitude of others because he hates himself and cannot stand the sight of himself. His comical pretensions force everyone else to play along, in order to be polite. Everyone knows the poseur is full of crap, but the guy who says what everyone thinks, risks being castigated for being rude. These people turn our morality on its head, by making our virtues into vices. They deserve to be hated.
One other thing that turns me off is the “you don’t understand the complexity of the sport” line from people who probably don’t understand the sport at all. Soccer’s appeal is based on its simplicity. Real fans know this, but poseurs prattle on about the complexity in order to shift the focus from their misplaced and irrational love for a foreign sport, onto the skepticism of their critics. In other words, they don’t really like soccer, they just want to signal their membership in a group they believe is superior. It is Star Bellied Sneetch-ism.
Another thing about soccer is the coverage in the American sporting press. The same people who normalized porn, have tried to use soccer in their war on whites. They have endlessly promoted soccer, despite the fact Americans have limited interest. Whenever there is a big match in Europe, we get coverage of how the foreign fans reacted to the result. A standing head in the sporting press is “Watch Fans React To…” and then the thing that happened in a soccer match. It’s an effort to weaponize the bandwagon effect.
Of course, now that European teams look more like refugee camps than European, the anti-whites love soccer even more. They use the browning of the traditional World Cup powers as “proof” that the great replacement is going to be wonderful. You can almost hear them saying, “See how much better sports will be when the whites are replaced with the non-whites?” Like so much about society, soccer has become another weapon wielded by the anti-whites in the race war. It is a reminder of what they plan for us.
Anyway, that’s my problem with soccer.
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You identified my biggest problems with soccer:
1. It’s boring (what kind of a sport has so many scoreless tie games?)
2. The Yank “fans” are all, down to the last man, poseur douche bags.
Z wrote, “A recent development, one that I find most irritating, is the fake passion of cosmopolitan men for Premiere League teams in Britain. … now they are pretending to have had a lifelong passion for a soccer club in England.” Oh lord… It’s so gay to see the loser guys without girlfriends wearing soccer team jerseys and screaming at televisions. And now, the wild screaming has become worse than ever before. Now, when a team – evidently? – “scores” screaming is at the top of their voices and in otherwise quiet restaurants creates wild, frightening scenes.
The soccer fan pretenders are upping their game now and feigning a love for curling.
It has to be said that soccer players aren’t wimps, they just act like it when they have to. I know it’s fun to make fun of them that way, but I think a lot of you actually think they’re fragile. Athletes of any sport are tough as shit. Even cyclists like Zman. If you doubt this then you haven’t witnessed serious athletes in person.
The metrosexual American fan of Euro soccer with the “Manchester” jersey screaming at the television isn’t necessarily a bad buy, he’s just a lost guy. But with Manchester soccer he has finally found his place among his lonely lost brotherhood. And the louder he screams and the more he displays to onlookers the more confirmed he is that he really, really does belong to something bigger (see him looking around to see that you saw him screaming extra loudly?)…. and to that nice lady over there, well, hm, he knows he’s an ugh – huh, hm – “Euro Guy”…
Need to work on the grammar in this one. Probably because of some of the changes you made there all kinds of consistency errors. Sportsball may still have relevance for some people. Just not for me.
I had some version control issues. Cleaned it up.
I was going to make a comment about other sport’s virtues but realized I just don’t care anymore.
Btw, Black Pigeon has a great video this week with 10,000 German soccer fans swaggering through England. The irony is they are from Cologne where men are desperately needed. That is what sports mania does for us now.
I listen to baseball games. I’ll watch a college football game when time permits, mostly because of the traditions. Hockey is still free of the poz, but the people ruling us are working hard to ruin hockey for us.
Otherwise, I have lost all interest in sports.
I wasn’t reading you back in the Olden Thymes, so thanks for reposting. Great essay.
Yeah well, I hate that American game where they wear crash helmets. What`s it called?
Soccer injury report: Pablo is out with a case of the sads after having his hair mussed. Andreas is out with a sore vagina.
Football injury report: Tarik is out with a broken spine. Shaquille is out with a shattered tibia.
Seriously. Soccer is a sport for the delicate. Swimmers are at greater risk.
Crash test dummies?
You mean the one where they mince around in outfits designed by Tom of Finland ?
I remember watching some brits look at a hockey game. After the game was concluded they remarked that they understood why people in north america preferred ice hockey to soccer. It was like soccer, but faster, harder, more physical and less prissy.
I do admit though, I like the crowd participation at soccer games. The banners, the chants, the songs. I think thats the real attraction of soccer.
“Little dogs and little men have no control of their sex drive”
I will be stealing that line immediately. I know a lot of people who I’d like to say it to.
I don’t know how you are able to coin a phrase like you do, but I love it.
Actually, a pretty good description of “transexuals.”
“What’s odious about the poseur is he turns his self-loathing into your problem. The poseur apes the styles and attitude of others because he hates himself and cannot stand the sight of himself. His comical pretensions force everyone else to play along, in order to be polite. Everyone knows the poseur is full of crap, but the guy who says what everyone thinks, risks being castigated for being rude. These people turn our morality on its head, by making our virtues into vices. They deserve to be hated.”
I’m down to watching golf and basketball here and there (because I participated in both). The SJW shit has me hating virtually all sport organizations too. They’re all converged at this point. Look at the feeding frenzy with the Papa Johns fella.
Also, I really do miss the days when professional athletes had to work in the off season to make ends meet. Billionaire athletes speak more to a nation’s demise than anything else.
Oh, and soccer sucks.
Not really a sporty type, so I may be out of my league here (hey, a sports metaphor!) but it has always seemed to me that American n-ball, with all its absurd padding,shields, helmets and other sci/fi tech, is clearly less of a game for ‘real men” than the relatively unprotected soccer players. I’m sure the uber-douchebags want to rub our faces in our Brown Future, but after all American sports have been blacked and hispanized for decades now; not much of a difference. Sports along with ethnic food is still the main argument for “darker is better.” Related to… Read more »
Blacks are better at football and basketball, and those are the most popular sports in the US. I’ve said this before at one of these sites, not sure if this one. Soccer is the premiere arena sport in almost every other European derived country. In the US the American pastime was baseball until the 1950s. Why did football and basketball take over at that time, and is it a coincidence that those happen to be the sports where blacks have an advantage over white men, with the notorious exception of the quarterback position in football? I allow that perhaps the… Read more »
The n ball epithet brought this to mind is the relevance.
Derb in this week’s podcast talked about how arena sports were used in Europe by elites to misdirect the tribal instincts of young males from protecting their streets from invaders and defending their females. It certainly dovetails with the notion that in the US sports would be used to achieve the all supreme cross spectrum goal of getting whites to admire/interbreed with/whatever blacks. Some males who feel nostalgic for sports get offended, but that’s not my point. I have a soft spot for some things too.
Harmonium – I was waiting for someone to mention that, although I thought everyone already knew it. Although sports existed in ancient history mostly it was a rare occurrence then. Modern full-time sports is a modern invention for the purpose Harmonium illustrated.
My problem with soccer is that I actually like the game. There, I said it. All the other fans are socialists, except me. And one other guy in Texas. If they say they’re not, they’re lying. Actually, most are out and out Marxists. Why do I not hate it? As a spectator, it’s less episodic and more flowing. You don’t stop for ads every six minutes. Also, I don’t have to see someone score every twenty seconds for the dopamine hit. I’ve seen great 0 – 0 matches. Some people can give up the sportsball, but I’m just a degenerate… Read more »
What sets us apart from the animals is our brains and our hands, and in soccer you’re not allowed to use either. What more do you need to know?
They could improve the game by removing that ridiculous off-sides rule, and referees too. Let the little guys play with their little dogs. Let’s rumble!
That’s a fine idea! I coached eight seasons of YMCA coed soccer for my kids, was grade school and junior high age years. During the fall/winter the games were indoors and there were no offsides, arena ball just as you described. It was quick and violent and a sort of teenage mad max pinball version of thunder dome. Coaches were in the mix with general population and you got to be quick at protecting your softer spots from The Richoxhet. Watching the lollipop guild smite one another in a reduced size arena would be worth top dollar
We despise professional sports – bread-and-circus for the masses. I’ve jokingly referenced “sports ball” for years and thought about getting a shirt made that says, “Go Sport Team !!!” – because which one doesn’t matter. Which ones are there? Many friends over the years were some of the smartest guys around, like electrical engineers with NASA, and none of us even knew what team was what or who or whether the super bowl was on television or not.
Love that you gave a shout out to The Sneetches. The overriding theme of life. In a way we were all red pilled at 6 years old when our mothers read it to us. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Left bans it someday, as it so simply exposes the game to come, for young impressionable minds.
Or as Rush, sounding a bit like Dr. Seuss, put it.
All the world’s indeed a stage
And we are merely players
Performers and portrayers
Each another’s audience
Outside the gilded cage
I watch my kids play any kind of sport. I watch rugby; it is the only pro sport on which I spend more than a moment of my time. I really like watching my kids play rugby and having fellowship with the rugby families. Rugby is what soccer wants to be when it grows a pair. Y’all are right, soccer is a women’s sport that is also played by delicate men. Rugby is what American football would want to be, if it had a pair of brain cells to rub together. Alas, the semi-retarded field apes who make of much… Read more »
That headline should be “Why I hate Professional Sports” not just soccer…It has gotten to the point that anyone that still watches it reminds me of those who sat around opium dens wasting their lives away…
Vin Scully retiring from the baseball broadcasts is one reason California is going downhill, and I don’t even like the Dodgers. The Chargers moved out, and nobody gave a crap. The Padres are still here and nobody’s cares anyway.
Farm team hockey and high school football still haven’t been ruined yet, but give it a few more years. They are the only games in town, in my book.
Not much of a soccer fan myself, and generally in agreement w 90% of what Z writes, I call BS on this one. My taking it seriously took a first major hit when soccer was called out as boring to watch on tv b/c….baseball…..Im sorry but THAT is boring on tv (and fairly fun to watch live). Then strike two happened; Z doesnt like it ‘b/c the progs like it….’ Where did you place your customary cojones Mr Z?? I dont let progs dictate ANYTHING to me, including sports preferences and that includes by reverse psychology. A sub-par post from… Read more »
“Little dogs and little men have no control of their sex drive.”
Different men have different levels of testosterone, keep in mind.
Unlike T-ball/Little League/Pop Warner/Youth Basketball, youth soccer requires almost no physical coordination or strategy and the youngsters run around for an hour and wear themselves out while the parents socialize.
The professional game is a different matter. The flopping makes me wish there were snipers places around the stadiums (under the “they shoot horses” principle,) but I’d settle for the referees tazing all the floppers so they can prolong their performances. Now *THAT* I’d watch. 😉
It’s a fair point regarding professional sport in general. I’ve followed the old First Division and then Premier League in England. My Dad supported Man Utd, so his sons did. Which is the way it was done for the most part in Ireland. There were always some Irish players represented at the top clubs which attracted interest too. Thats changed radically, also for the former working class fanbase if most English teams. The financial juggernaut of the Premier League discarded them, and with no disrespect the pizzaz and ‘Muricanisation has turned people off. The inevitable Song 2 from Blur played… Read more »
One funny thing regarding sports. I lived in New Zealand for a while, I remember the 2011 Rugby World Cup. I was at the Ireland vs US match in New Plymouth. It was on September 11 2011. The announcer said there would be a minutes silence in memory of the victims of the terrible attack on September 11. It was very quiet and dignified, then a US fan shout out America!!! FUCK YEAHHH!!! Every one stopped, then a. Giggle broke into a laugh, then a round of applause. Todd Clever the Captain of the Eagles was in that knots laughing.… Read more »
What are your thoughts on basketball?
I call it a human flea circus.