A Hooker, A Schoolteacher And Three Hacks Walk Into A Bar

The most entertaining campaign in my lifetime has managed to get even more hilarious with the news that Ted Cruz has a string of women on the side. The holy roller getting jammed up with hookers has happened so often that it is now a hackneyed bit that even bad comics avoid. We’re pretty close to the point where being a holy roller is disqualifying on the assumption there’s a scandal lurking in the closet.

The National Enquirer is a tabloid so you always have to be wary, but they are not the only people with the story. That linked piece suggests several outlets had the story and held it for reasons as yet unexplained. I looked at the twitter accounts of the women named in the stories and they have suddenly gone quiet. Nowadays, that’s a good clue when trying to validate these things.

A sex scandal is always a good time for political junkies because it lets us have some fun at the expense of a big shot. This one could be hilarious because of the whipsaw effect. The media, conservative and liberal, hate both Trump and Cruz. In fact, they have turned themselves into pretzels trying to hate both men as bashing one inevitably helps the other. If I had to guess, conservative media hates Trump more than Cruz, but liberal media truly fears Trump.

As of this writing, all of the major media is giving this a good leaving alone. Part of it is they hate following the lead of the Enquirer. We saw this with every sex scandal since Gary Hart. But, sex scandals sell and eventually they have to cover it so they will dick around pretending to do their own reporting for a while to keep up appearances. There’s also a legal issue, in light of the Gawker verdict.

Then there is the fact that some of the principles are fixtures in political media. Amanda Carpenter is a gadfly who turns up on all the chat shows. She’s also been quite partisan in her support for Cruz. Her animosity toward Trump is off the chart. Another one of the Cruz women is a spokeschick for Fiorina. Another works for Trump and is on the chat shows ever day. Calling these women “Cruz Bimbos” is going to make for some uncomfortable moments.

That’s the real story here. These people all hang out with one another. A story like this reveals the truth of political media. It’s all a show. Two people spend a segment calling each other Hitler and then go out for drinks or more. Newt Gingrich called it Hollywood for ugly people and he was right. Nothing is on the level and everything is for sale. Both sides are just in it for the cash.

Katrina Pierson, one of the alleged bimbos, is a pretty good example of the sort of people in the chattering classes. She was an Obama supporter in 2008, but then joined the Tea Party in 2010. She worked for Ted Cruz when he was running for senate. Now she is working for Trump. She also has a habit of taking things that don’t belong to her.

Putting the politics aside, the hard part for the chattering classes is this story a truth about women in their business. All of these “strong, independent women” are chasing after the high status males like the stupid prol women they love to mock. Say what you want about Sarah Palin, her old man is not catting around on her and she controls the checkbook. Amanda Carpenter could learn a few things from Palin.

Of course, all of these women are full of it. One of the weird parts of politics is just how many women are there to snag a man. The adventuress is a fixture in Washington. They love the action, but they also love competing with other women for high status males, even the married ones, especially the married ones. There are normal women too, but the adventuress-to-normal is off the charts, compared to anywhere else.

One last bit from this that’s worth mentioning. Ted Cruz is what the man-o-sphere calls a “sigma male.” Like the alpha male, the sigma enjoys locking horns with other men and chasing women, but they prefer to operate on the fringe. Instead of climbing the status tree to be the top dog, they work solo and eschew building a following. They often go out of their way to piss of the establishment as a part of the strategy to score women.

This is a pattern we see with Cruz. Senators are famous for sticking together, but he has gone out of his way to piss in the cornflakes of his peers. Even when he was working for Bush he had a reputation for being a jerk to everyone. But, his bad boy rep helped him with the ladies. Now we can assume it is part of his seduction strategy. It is also the reason he will be dropping out the race sooner rather than later.

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33 Comments on "A Hooker, A Schoolteacher And Three Hacks Walk Into A Bar"

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James LePore
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Great timing from you and Camille:

http://www.salon.com/2016/03/24/camille_paglia_this_is_why_trumps_winning_and_why_i_wont_vote_for_hillary/

Here’s a quote from her piece:

Ted Cruz, the last one still standing, is bombastic, sanctimonious and coldly sharkish behind that forced smile. Is Cruz a truly convincing model of Christian values of charity, compassion and humility? Jimmy Carter did it way better than this. Cruz seems consumed by a vainglorious conviction of his own destiny, tied to an apocalyptic view of history. He reminds me of glad-handing televangelists like Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker, who were loved and trusted by so many but whose careers ended in disgrace.

Drake
Guest

I’m not buying this story just yet. Seems far-fetched and is written in mealy-mouthed language:

Private Investigators are..”claimed a Washington insider”.

Really? Who’s Private Investigators? Trump’s?

Randarius Honeypickle
Guest
Randarius Honeypickle

Trump most likely knew about it but the enquirer has it’s own “honest” motivations for doing it. And they clearly have all the evidence they need to avoid a libel suit. Ted is the classic shit weasel in a plastic collar. Low born and common. Plus his wife looks like you have to defrost her vagina before you can have sex.

Severian
Guest
“One of the weird parts of politics is just how many women are there to snag a man. The adventuress is a fixture in Washington.” One of the best parts of reading biographies of 19th century figures is trying to figure out who they *didn’t* sleep with among their friends’ wives. Discreet adultery was just the done thing among the British political class, for example — Lord So-and-So, who was gay, would marry Lady Such-and-Such, on the understanding that she’s really the kept woman of Duke Something-or-Other, who for political reasons married…..hell, the British civil servants in India (a great… Read more »
Randarius Honeypickle
Guest
Randarius Honeypickle

Just the way it is, and always has been. 90% of the population is always appetite driven incurious herd animals. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

alzaebo
Guest

That was a rather delightful tidbit. The fishing fleet… tally ho!

JPW
Guest

Amanda Carpenter is doing it wrong. She needs to threaten he publication of a Banglist, not a blacklist. That’s where the money and leverage comes from.

Randarius Honeypickle
Guest
Randarius Honeypickle

She should do a recreation video with James Deen!

james wilson
Guest

Cruz is making Trump look like the Christian man in all of this. Quite an achievement.

james wilson
Guest

That hissing sound is the air going out of the Conservative inc. brokered convention.

james wilson
Guest

Camille will repeatedly make the most marvelous arguments for a Heliocentric solar system without ever leaving the system of Aristotle. Hillary bad, Bernie good!

Kathleen
Guest

This might take him down because of his holy-roller image, and if it’s true he’s more iniquitous than I had originally thought. I’ve never trusted him because he comes off as a used car salesman. His unctiousness makes me think he’s hiding stuff. I’m actually more concerned with the fact that his wife is a Task Force Member of the Council on Foreign Relations. Open borders anyone?

Cindy
Guest
I was a Cruz supporter until he went slimy. His rhetoric was good. I thought surely he meant it. Earnest people have a habit of expecting other people to be equally earnest, I guess, so I fell for it. But the dishonesty started showing itself. I couldn’t reconcile his rhetoric about rule of law and the constitution with his willingness to throw free speech under the bus just to score political points on Trump when his rally was shut down by “protesters”. He’s a liar, alright. Never trust a man who starts a denial that should be, one would think,… Read more »
Delbert McClintock
Guest

He started out slimy.

Notsothoreau
Guest

I feel sorry for the kids. After reading up a bit on Heidi, she reminds me so much of Hillary. She even talks about “our campaign” and “our Presidency”. She is also very ambitious.

This is a very ugly mess and could have been easily avoided. Cruz should have denounced the Melania ad and said that the campaign needed to be about issues, not the wives. But he benefited from it and wasn’t willing to be forthright. It’s the problem with lawyers as professional politicians. Too many weasel words.

Notsothoreau
Guest

I believe it’s designed to take down both Cruz and Trump. Consider the timing. This makes Trump seem to be involved and like a woman hating meanie. He did say he would spill the beans on Heidi, although I’m not sure how this would qualify. It elimates Trump and Cruz combining forces. And it takes down Cruz. The GOPe wants them both gone. This accomplishes it.

Nash Montana
Guest

There is no way for Trump to go but up, haven’t you noticed yet?

Alpha male.

Christopher S. Johns
Guest
The Daily Beast is reporting, in a story somewhat disingenuously titled “Ted Cruz ‘Affair’ Rumors Peddled by Marco Rubio’s Allies,” that the story has been out there for months, but that the “respectable” media on the right and the left couldn’t be bothered to assign reporters to the story to see if it was true or not. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/03/25/ted-cruz-affair-rumors-peddled-by-marco-rubio-s-allies.html Reading a bit into this, it’s not hard to see that the reason that they didn’t go after the story was not because they didn’t suspect it was true, but because it involved the personal lives of beltway media whores and hustlers… Read more »
Delbert McClintock
Guest

They held the story back so they could blow Cruiz out of the water in the general election; if he managed to get that far.

Nash Montana
Guest

Now the Daily Beast reports that there is some kind of video about the Crooz extra marital affair or whatever you wanna call it. Please Daily Beast spare us with the details I’m grossed out enough as it is.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/03/25/ted-cruz-affair-rumors-peddled-by-marco-rubio-s-allies.html

Casius Lucius
Guest

What’s the over/under on Cruz topping himself over this? “I did it for you pa, all for you!!”

Casius Lucius
Guest

Reports of a compilation tape showing Ted and one of the strumpets coming out of a hotel together, multiple times. As for feeling sorry for Mrs Sleazebag…don’t, she is just a down market Lady Macbeth wannabe.

NunyaBusiness
Guest
Come on, you can admit it, you’re tickled shitless with this turn of events. I understand being a shitbag, that I can relate to, what I don’t understand is not simply owning it. Be a shit bag, and dare anyone to judge you for it. Bill Clinton got standing ovations for doing shit like this, but it’s supposed to bring down this guy because, why? He’s a holy roller? Whatever. At least these all appear to be consensual encounters, something that cannot be said about all of Bill Clinton’s bimbo eruptions. I mean, I expect all politicians to lie, that’s… Read more »
Dr. Mabuse
Guest
“All of these “strong, independent women” are chasing after the high status males like the stupid prol women they love to mock” And on the very same day this comes out, here in Canada we get the verdict on the Jian Ghomeshi sexual harassment trial. Three women accused him of really abusive rough sex, and I believe it really happened. Trouble is, the defence showed that all the women he roughed up were actively pursuing him, even AFTER the nasty incidents. All eager to stay on good terms with him, all willing to flatter him to keep his attention.
Nash Montana
Guest

Don’t forget the infamous matching tattoos!
Go to minute 1:55:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dB3VXwD6X0

Frogdaddy
Guest

Did I miss the part about how Katrina Pierson can be a trump spokesperson and want this out there if she’s one of the cats? Would it look like some type of Trump entrapment? She’s been all over the place and seems to morph into whatever candidate she has aligned herself with. They’re all disgusting. The world is burning and we have to deal with all this nonsense.