Fake Indian Update

I’ve been arguing for a while now that Fake Indian will run and win the Democrat nomination in 2016. I’m not even sure Cankles runs again. She is old, fat and sick. Democrats generally hate old people, which is why they are always dreaming up ways to kill them. The only way they back Cankles is if they think the Stupid Party candidate is going to win. Given the state of the GOP, they will not be nominating a sure thing in 2016. Instead it will be some establishment man who does not scare the horses.

Anyway, it looks like Jonah Goldberg has joined my side on this one.

In 2007, Democrats were delirious with rage about the Iraq war. Hillary Clinton, the “inevitable” presidential front-runner, had voted for the war and refused to apologize for it. Other leading candidates, including Joe Biden, John Edwards, and Chris Dodd, voted for it too. This left a huge opening for a credible antiwar candidate. Barack Obama, inexperienced and underqualified, nonetheless jumped into the vacuum. The rest, as they say, is history.

Today, the issue that obsesses the base of the Democratic party is income inequality. I think that’s foolish. The underlying causes of inequality — miserable economic growth, stagnating wages, poverty, etc. — are vastly more worthy challenges. Though, in fairness, many people actually have those problems in mind when they talk about inequality.

There’s another, more important reason. In the 1990’s, the Left radicalized and, like Africanized honey bees, became very aggressive. They were convinced Clinton was too timid and let the Gingrich led extreme right-wing extremists push him around. Loyalty to the cult kept them from revolting against the Clintons, but the resentment turned into rage by 2000. Just as fundamentalist Muslims went violently crazy after the end of the Cold War, the American Left went bonkers when the Clintons left town.

In 2008, the most anti-Bush candidate was Obama. In 2016, the Left will embrace the most aggressively liberal candidate in the field. The Left largely feels Obama has not been aggressive enough, particularly with the Wall Street crowd. That’s what makes Fake Indian’s faux populism so appealing.

There’s another component to the inequality obsession: populism. People increasingly feel that economic and political elites are enriching themselves, not by making great products or selling valuable services, but by cutting backroom deals and selling influence. This rage is remarkably bipartisan. It is the one theme that loosely unites tea partiers and Wall Street occupiers alike.

Goldberg, like most of the Conventional Right, instinctively rejects anything that smacks of populism. That’s why they tend to get it wrong as we see here. Fake Indian’s faux populism is the sort you see in the faculty lounge or the coffee shop at Whole Foods. It’s overly credentialed bobos bitching about the rich guys who sign their paycheck. They may have it good, but someone with fewer diplomas has it better and that’s just unfair.

It’s why Fake Indian sounds so weird to working class types. If you are a part-time teacher at your kid’s Montessori school, hearing a rich white woman complain about inequality sounds inspiring.  If you’re working two jobs so your kid can go to the local state college one day, hearing an old rich woman talk like that sounds phony. But, the Democrat party is the party of Montessori school parents, not plumbers with two jobs.

Obscure economics professor David Brat toppled House majority leader Eric Cantor in a Virginia primary largely by tapping into that populism, particularly on such issues as immigration and Wall Street bailouts.

Senator Warren owes her left-wing hero status to the Democratic version of this kind of populism. She’s been talking for years about how the well-connected “rig the system” for their own benefit. Now, I find many of Warren’s proposed solutions — more regulation, more taxes, more government, etc. — abhorrent. But, believe it or not, I am not a Democratic-primary voter. Those who are love what Warren is selling.

I’ve been pointing this out for years. It used to be that the parties were easy to define. The Democrats were mostly the party of the working class. The Republicans were the party of the shop owner. Both parties tried to fashion a majority around policy and both parties could compete in all regions of the country, based on a message aimed at the middle-class voter.

That’s not the case today nor has it been for a long time. Here’s a quote from a 15-year old Sam Francis colums:

Today, the main political line of division in the United States is not between the regions of North and South (insofar as such regions can still be said to exist) but between elite and nonelite. As I have tried to make plain … for the last 15 years, the elite, based in Washington, New York, and a few large metropolises, allies with the underclass against Middle Americans, who pay the taxes, do the work, fight the wars, suffer the crime, and endure their own political and cultura1 dispossession at the hands of the elite and its underclass vanguard.

Fake Indian’s faux populism is an attempt to tap into this, but she is a product of the managerial class and her message is aimed at members of that class. Clinton crying poor mouth is a similar attempt. Brat is different and comparing his appeal to that of Fake Indian is a category error by Goldberg. Brat is aiming at the Middle American Radical.

The question is whether any of it really matters at this point. Fake Indian is no populist. She is an old rich broad willing to lie for money. While I think her shtick will work for her in 2016, nothing much will change in the Democrat party. It is and will remain the party of SWPL-ville. The GOP is just a collection of rejects with no where else to go. Maybe if enough guys like Brat win election, the MAR’s will have a party again.

In the mean time, I welcome Jonah Goldberg to the Fake Indian Express.

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I agree, Fake Indian will be the one. The Republicans likely will stumble into control of Congress this year, where they will spin their wheels for a couple of years, accomplishing nothing, since the Democrats will uphold B.O.’s vetoes without question.

Then Fake Indian will be well set up to run as a ‘populist’ attacking the Do-Nothing Obstructionist Congress. The Republican presidential candidate will treat her with kid gloves, since he will be terrified of the ‘sexist’ tag.

The Diversity, single woman and metrosexuals will come through again, and the deal is done.

Lee Johnson
Lee Johnson

Fake Indian will be a relief after Obama. Warren has a quintessential American upbringing. She will be a terrible president, but she at least will be a normal American-type person screwing up in the job.


If Doughpants Goldberg is on your side, your on the wrong side.