The Atlantic used to be a great journal. Now it just a forum for addle-brained nitwits to have a tantrum about the latest outrages. Steve Sailer is convinced it is done on purpose, as an elaborate goof on multiculturalism, but that seems unlikely. Too many people truly believe this nonsense. If a piece like this is a sophisticated send-up of the crotch warriors, the writer should be working in Hollywood, not free lancing between shifts at the local bar.

On September 9, a parade of men marched across the stage at Flint Center in Cupertino, California, outlining a variety of new products in the Apple lineage. After the iPhone, Apple Pay, and, the doll of the party, the Apple Watch, Apple CEO Tim Cook took the stage to give some more details about Apple Health, an app that had been announced back in June and will eventually integrate with the Apple Watch. In that June announcement, Apple’s Senior Vice President of Software Engineering Craig Federighi bragged that the app would let users “monitor all of your metrics that you’re most interested in.”

As promised, Health is a powerful app. It allows users to track everything from calories to electrodermal activity to heart rate to blood alcohol content to respiratory rate to daily intake of chromium. But there’s a notable exception. Apple Health doesn’t track menstruation, an omission that was quickly seized upon by many tech writers as, well, ridiculous. The Verge asked “is it really too much to ask that Apple treat women, and their health, with as much care as they’ve treated humanity’s sodium intake?” How could Apple release a health-tracking app without the ability to monitor what is likely one of the earliest types of quantified-self tracking?

The most obvious answer here is that if you can’t count to 28, you probably can’t master the device. That and the fact menstrual cycles have nothing to do with the purpose of these gizmos. The people who buy them mostly want to signal that they obsess about their health. That most likely means indulging in useless fads like pill-popping, weird diets and fake exercise like cross-fit.

But, to the crotch warrior, everything is about their crotch. Therefore health must be defined in terms of the crotch. A normal person with an interest in bettering their fitness would look for a way to count calories, measure their heart rate and so on. Crotch warriors want a devise that lets them count to 28 so they can spend even more time thinking about their lady-parts.

The comments, as always, are the best. The top comment is a great satire. But, the rest have great example of the insanely unaware. Commenter “Laura” reminds me of a friend named Laura. She is a hair on fire feminist convinced the conspiracy of the pale penis people is out to get her. Come to think of it, every woman I’ve known named Laura has been nuts.