Brother, Can You Spare A Tubby?

One way historians and anthropologists piece together the historical timeline is by looking at official documents, seals, inscriptions on buildings and money. If ancient scribes suddenly stop mentioning a king, for example, a look at documents from the era can shed some light on what happened. If all of a sudden the king’s brother is signing charters and grants, then followed by a new king, it’s fair to assume the king died or was incapacitated, leaving a period of uncertainty.

Alternatively, if the coins from that period suddenly changed from having the king’s seal to having something generic or the image of a rival, then it probably means the king made a very serious blunder and was not just killed, but erased from the record. In the case of muddled time lines, the coins can often help date when one guy’s rule ended and his successor’s rule started. If the written record is hazy,the coins can fill in the gaps.

It is not science, but the study of money is a specialty. Numismatists are not just coin collectors. The academic side is much more than than the simple cataloging of coins and currency. The money people used can tell a lot about the people. The debasement of Roman coins in the third century, for example, helps explain what was happening at the street level in that era. Put another way, the changes in the coins tell a parallel story to what histories tell us about the civil wars and changes in imperial rule.

Somewhere, in a far off future, the robot historians will be picking through the rubble of our current age and puzzling about today’s news from the Imperial Capital that they are changing the money.

Alexander Hamilton has been spared an ousting from the front of the $10 bill, and Andrew Jackson will instead be bumped from the $20 to make way for Harriet Tubman — a historic move that is helping quell a controversy over Hamilton’s legacy.

“Today, I’m excited to announce that for the first time in more than a century, the front of our currency will feature the portrait of a woman, Harriet Tubman, on the $20 note,” Treasury Secretary Jack Lew told reporters during a conference call Wednesday afternoon.

Lew also announced a set of changes that include putting leaders of the women’s suffrage movement on the back of the $10 bill and incorporating civil rights era leaders and other important moments in American history into the $5 bill.

Obsequious rump-swabs, like Dan McLaughlin from National Review, were immediately seen out on the street, in tears, thanking Obama for this critical change. Look through the comments on that post and you easily understand why the epithet “cuckservative” cut these people so deep and why they were so offended by it. Reading that post, I get the sense that the only disappointment from McLaughlin was that they did not put a strapping young black man on the twenty.

Maybe Jackson should be replaced, but there are dozens of far more important people who could take his place. There are more important women than Tubman, who is a trivial figure in American history. The only reason we know about her at all is that Progressive fanatics plucked her out of obscurity to be a heroine of their cause. Most of the Harriet Tubman mythology is exactly that. She was illiterate and left no written records nor anything in the way of proof to substantiate her claims.

As is always the case with Progressive fanatics, nothing they say should be taken at face value. This move has nothing to do with Tubman, blacks, Civil Rights or women. It’s about spiting the the bogeymen that haunt the Cult of Modern Liberalism. Progressivism is defined by hatred of southern white males. It defines everything they believe and do. It’s pretty much all they are now. Striking the southern white guy from the money in favor of a black women is a deranged act of vengeance.

Of course, the weenies of Conservative Inc are claiming this is an attempt by Democrats to erase their association with Jackson. Maybe, but the more plausible reason is it is another step toward erasing the South. These are people who hate NASCAR, hunting, guns, fried food, WalMart, the Rebel flag and football. The common theme is anything white southern guys like, liberals hate and want to destroy. The people digging up Confederate generals are now throwing a southern president off the money.

Those robot historians will probably be just as puzzled as we are as to why this bizarre cult maintains a hatred for one region of the country. But, the joke, in the end, will be on the lunatics. It won’t be long before the hip-hop boys start calling the new bill “tubbies.” They call the twenty a “double” now and “tubby” is easier to rhyme. Given the nature of hip-hop, they will probably come up with a far more crude name for the new bill. Still, I look forward to asking lefty if he can spare a tubby?

38 thoughts on “Brother, Can You Spare A Tubby?

  1. It was pointed out to me just today that Jackson himself would demand he be taken off the twenty. Having his name associated with a Federal Reserve note is despoiling the dead.

  2. I envision sheets of peel off stickers with Jackson’s original visage being applied over the tub-gal’s mug. A business opportunity for some enterprising fellow.

  3. The only rational response is to refuse to use the Tubbys. Demand tens and fives in change. Let the Tubbys mold in the cash registers.

  4. Is it so hard to believe that the Orwellian Left is trying to rewrite history to disassociate themselves with their history of racism?

    I doubt that it’s a coincidence that, in a time when being called “racist” is worse than being accused of child molestation, the Left is suddenly trying to make all of their racist ancestors unpersons. Wilson, Calhoun, your southern generals…all are in the process of being erased from history. Not (just) because of hatred for the South, but because those people associate the Left with the racism of their past. And if any of their uninformed, useful idiot followers hear of these associations, there’s a possibility that they may actually realize that Leftism is a scam built on lies.

  5. Three thoughts on this:

    a) When Trump destroys the Lizard Queen in the general he will reverse this idiocy. It would take all of three minutes to sign an executive order.

    b) If, God forbid, he isn’t elected and this goes forward we should all buy some red and black Sharpies (waterproof, remember) and deface the bills. This would force Treasury to take them out of circulation.

    c) If you are offered any at a bank or in change at a store, refuse them and insist on 1s, 5s or 10s instead.

    Widespread use of tactics b & c would insure they would go the way of the Susan B. Anthony $1 coin into oblivion.

    Zman is right. This is a cultural assault on white, male, Southern history and identity.

    Just one more huge middle-finger from our mulatto Occupier-in-Chief. 

    • That’s pretty naive.
      Besides the fact that it’s probably illegal to deface bills, banks and shops will refuse to take them from you. That’s an expensive attempt to get them out of circulation. Worse, the media will treat any defaced bill as a hate-crime on par with a terrorist attack. They’d feast on each case. They’ll have items on the news about how some people refuse to accept these notes, leading to even more money spent on grievance mongering.
      Say thank you that they haven’t replaced “In God We Trust” with “We Believe in Global Warming”. Only when/if people are so fed up of all of this and the government refuses to give a penny to professional grievance-mongering groups will the situation improve.

  6. I care nothing for Andrew Jackson except that he’s a useful tool for the Zman to make an acerbic case for a broader culture, of which Jackson is the least and poorest example. Tubman’s mythology on the face of a $20 unsecured loan from the National Treasury is rather apt.

    • Acerbic? Me?

      Jackson is vilified because of his Americanism. The ruling cult has loads of narrow fetishes, but underneath it all is a deep self-loathing. That old Puritan revulsion is the engine of American liberalism. As I’m fond of saying, the world would be a much better place if the Mayflower had sunk in the North Atlantic.

      • According to Old dude, the Mayflower did sink (was sunk) and replaced by a fake replacement ship, crewed by Masons.

      • Yes, but… The Vikings got there earlier, so you could all be named Sven Obumble, or Kjell Allthewhites now if the Mayflower hadn’t turned up. Plus, with the Vikes you could all the benefits of socialist Sweden and none of the drawbacks, such as… um, well, having to let lots of equatorial-tanned people in to boost the population… oh, wait…

      • Judging from his farewell address, Jackson was exponentially more sophisticated than any President of the 20th or 21st century. He had the measure of everybody and everything. Tocqueville agreed. The fact that he shot men in duels, danced on tables, and held a low opinion of Indians, Negros, and Whigs of course disqualifies him to the citizen of today, who are born noble and enlightened. He was early America’s Trump, the difference being both the politician and the voter were far more well versed in government in Jackson’s day, so there was a higher bar. And, a huge plus, women, Negros, debtors, and people hostile to the US didn’t vote. Tocqueville, 1831–“On scrutinizing the Constitution of the United States….it is frightening to note how many differences of knowledge and discernment it assumes in those governed. I have scarcely ever encountered a single man of the common people in America who did not perceive with surprising ease the obligations entailed in the laws of Congress and the beginnings to the laws of his own state, nor who could not separate the matters belonging to the general prerogatives of the Union from those regulated by his local legislature and who could not point to where the competence of the federal courts begins and the limitations of the state tribunals ends.”

      • Acerbic is a compliment! 😉

        There is no self-loathing here. I may not like Jackson among all the American men of the past, but I like that you defend the Southern White Male culture. That’s all. I should not comment before 2nd cup of coffee!

        • I understand. I was not clear. I think the Left vilifies Jackson out of self-loathing. I’m a Jackson fan only to the extent that he is an American original. He would not be on my list of great presidents, but like Nixon, I probably find him more interesting than most of the great presidents.

  7. I think it’s more about destroying any link to the past, good or bad. Not necessarily southern white men. I was born in the north and I’m disgusting by all of it. As if our history began with our current leader, forward. It’s more evident if on the same day a department store (Target) comes out in favor of trans restrooms, the end goal becomes clear. If a countryman doesn’t have a link to his past, what will he and his offspring become or how will they be identified as? To a point when you speak of your history you are seen as some anomaly or racist believer in old white guys. No tradition or foundation. Nothing pass on. I don’t recognize the country of my youth anymore. My memories are of another time. Eventually that time will not have existed. But to your point, John Grisham was interviewed by Der Spiegel and he too blamed poor southern white men for supporting Trump. But he’d vote for our current leader a third time if he could as well as Hillary. He’s from Arkansas apparently. I just don’t get the hate on for other members of our society/country.

  8. There is no reason why, given the degree of sophistication in printed money such as watermarks and the quality of the paper among other things, why there can’t be portraits of lots of people both male and female. In the UK we have the queen on the front of our five pound note and on the other side, Elizabeth Fry (she of the reformed prisons and soup kitchen business, and Quaker to boot). In the States you could have Mrs Obumble on one side of your twenty dollar bill and the sainted Nancy Pelosi on the other side. Or you could have half a dozen portraits of offended college students (of mixed gender variations) on one side of some twenty bills and selected Ferguson activists on the other side. Mix and match, I say.

    Over on this side of the water I eagerly awaiting the first muslim portrait on our currency, as you would expect.

  9. We really need to show some respect for our leaders. When we need million dollar bills to buy a quart of milk, those are currency issues suited to a nice etching of Obama. Tim

    • “How much is it?”

      “That will be three Obumbles.”

      “I remember when they were only a Tubby!”

    • That is an excellent idea. Obama should be on a million dollar bill. Or hundred million. Perfect. That will be the price of a gallon of gas just before the Moslem takeover. I am the proud owner of a few 100 trillion $ bills from Zimbabwe. Considering the incredible number, all they thought to put on the front of the bill was a stack of three big rocks. But enough about Obama.

      • Except by then there won’t be any cash. All transactions will be tracked electronically, with user fees, transfer fees and tax on each move from one person to another person or business.

  10. Pingback: U.S. Treasury Picks Harriet Tubman for $20 Bill - Page 2

  11. Well, within five years, it’s entirely possible that $20 will be worth about the same as a quarter today. Trump will be President, and he’ll just direct the Fed to stop printing any denomination less than a hundred dollar bill, and the coinage will be revalued from cents to dollars, where one “old cent” equals one new dollar. That way the old coinage will be able to circulate side-by-side with the new coinage. And we’ll be rid of this retarded social experiment.

    Sadly, this is about the best possible outcome that I can imagine.

    • Ya, we need to get MLKjr on the penny, Obama on the nickel, Nancy Pelosi on the dime and Hillary on the quarter. Then when the people of the distant future dig here they will know when the towel was finally thrown in.

    • I thought the same thing. It doesn’t make it worth anymore than it is today. It’s just paper and of no value. Put Bozo the clown on it for all I care.

  12. Tubbie has a nice ring to it, although it reminds me of Teletubbies. You are right, this is another knife to the heart of the South. While there are pockets of Liberty-loving patriots all over the country, the South seems to have the highest concentration, therefore must be humiliated and/or repressed whenever possible by the Hive Left.

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