Bar Fights

In my life I have seen some excellent bar fights. Most bar fights are not very entertaining, as one drunk throws a punch at another drunk and it quickly turns into a wrestling match, usually with the two combatants knocking over some chairs and tables on their way to the floor. Once in a while though, you get a good one where the two drunks have the ability to stay upright and the willingness to trade blows. These are the ones that usually start inside, but go outside where they “can settle it like men.”

I once saw a guy setup like Bruce Lee, indicating he was a martial arts guy. He performed a perfectly executed round house kick. His mistake was that the other guy was not a martial arts guy so he ducked and then hit Kung Fu so hard with a right cross that his grandchildren will have headaches. Martial arts man hit the ground like he had been shot and that was the end of it. The crowd went back inside, leaving Kung Fu to search around for what went wrong. When I left he was gone so I guess he lived.

I’ve don’t have much respect for martial arts as a fighting tactic. When I was a little kid, of course, I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Then one day an older boy, known for having a black belt, challenged me to a fight. I shot a single leg take down and then broke his nose in an unnecessarily aggressive cradle. When my father was told of my villainy, he bust out laughing. I learned that you can turn a fight into a wrestling match, but you can never turn a fight into a Karate match. It takes two to karate. That’s why my father put me into wrestling, instead of karate.

I thought of this when I read that UFC star Colin McGregor wants to fight boxer Floyd Mayweather. My guess is that it will never happen, but you never know. There are a lot of UFC fans willing to pay good money to see it. Given the two men’s ability to gain attention with their showboating, I bet they could get a $200 million box office for  a fight. I’d probably buy it, even though I know McGregor would end up in the hospital or graveyard. I like freak shows as much as anyone and it would probably be hilarious.

That’s the thing with UFC. It is a modern freak show. They take tough guys and make believe they are highly skilled fighters. The martial arts stuff is a nice touch, because it distracts people from the fact these guys are just tough guys. They are allowed to use the tactics popular in bar fights, like tackling the other guy and kicking him in the groin. The organizers filter out the guys that are not entertaining and they hype the hell out of the events. It’s great marketing, particularly to young males.

That does not change the reality of the situation. McGregor is an excellent bar fighter, but Mayweather is a highly trained professional boxer. Even under the rules of the UFC, he would beat McGregor senseless in the first minute. My bet is the class of fighter you see at armory fights would beat the best UFC guys. The difference in skill, speed and strength is just too big. To even the odds, the rules would have to be altered heavily in favor of the bar fighter so it becomes a wrestling match, rather than a fight.

That reality is why this fight will never happen. The people running the UFC are too smart to have their best star humiliated. They spend too much time developing and marketing their stars to let one of them get beaten up by a real boxer. That would reveal the truth of it too plainly. Most UFC fans get that they are watching bum fights. They just like the back stories and the carnival of it. They can suspend their disbelief as long as all of the fighters are about the same in terms of skill.

My hunch with the UFC has always been that it is choreographed, like professional wrestling. The Kimbo Slice debacle has not been repeated and that tells me the organizers learned their lesson. A lot of people came away from that experience thinking it was just all hype and no real competition. Ever since, they have tried to keep the matches competitive looking, in order to keep up appearances. Whether they go beyond that to make the shows fun is open to debate. Given the age, my bet is they put their thumb on the scales.

Even if it is all on the level, the people running the UFC did not become billionaires by being stupid and it would be very stupid to have their top star beaten senseless by Floyd Mayweather. That’s why it is highly unlikely that it ever happens, at least not as long as McGregor is under contract with the UFC. Even a $200 million payday would not be enough to risk a billion dollar business. It’s much better to let fans pretend that these bar fighters are real fighters.

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Caleo
Caleo
8 years ago

I love your blog but this is just ridiculous. It’s as if you have never actually watched the UFC, or that the last 20 years of technical development in MMA hasn’t happened. I used to wrestle and train in BJJ, including regularly training with active MMA fighters, and you are seriously mistaken if you think these guys aren’t Olympic caliber athletes. You guys are debating whether or not a good wrestler can destroy an elite boxer ? Are you kidding me ? Please go back and watch the last 20 years of technique and tactical development in MMA. It’s as… Read more »

Caleo
Caleo
Reply to  thezman
8 years ago

That’s not my point, which is actually training with guys like this for years, and following the development of the sport closely will demolish any illusions that they are simply tough guys with no skills. A majority of high level MMA fighters come from elite circles of wrestling, BJJ, Judo and Sambo and Muay Thai kickboxing. They are not talentless bums. Most top tier fighters are world class athletes and deserve respect for their commitment to what is, in my opinion, the toughest sport on Earth. Also let me make clear that I love this blog and I’m a big… Read more »

Mike@Mike.Mike
Mike@Mike.Mike
8 years ago

I love your stuff Z but this article begs a reply. I am no student of MMA, but i have watched as much of it as I have watched boxing, both with that same “just to see what happens” interest. I have also watched boxing slowly die as at least an American sport, for the last 30 years, for many reasons, while MMA grows. I have also been in a few fights, bar or otherwise, and you are correct about how they mostly end up. Which is why your own example about karate proves your opinion about a boxer vs.… Read more »

Bill
Bill
Reply to  thezman
8 years ago

Boxing is simply martial arts with a much more limited skill set; punching.

DFCtomm
Member
Reply to  Bill
8 years ago

A fact that seems lost in this discussion.

Member
8 years ago

What’s strange is I looked at the same information and came to the opposite conclusion. Bar fights end up going to the ground so that’s a boxer’s advantage? You learned you can always turn a fight into a wrestling match, and somehow concluded that boxers will have an advantage over fighters who typically have a wrestling background? Anyway, the UFC is not martial arts, which seems to be implied. Groin kicks are not legal, so it appears your knowledge of it is limited. The UFC along with similiar organizations existed to answer the very question underlying the post, to see… Read more »

DFCtomm
Member
8 years ago

Here is a general rule on the subject of fights. If the guy you’re thinking of fighting has fucked up ears it might be best to leave him alone.

Roy
Roy
Reply to  DFCtomm
8 years ago

Heh. My general rule on the subject of fights is to be somewhere else.

MartyrMade
8 years ago

Haha Floyd wouldn’t last a round against a low-level MMA fighter under MMA rules, and yes, he would slaughter Connor in a boxing match. You have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s not like high level boxers haven’t tried to enter MMA before.

The Bagman
The Bagman
8 years ago

It’s interesting to note how fierce the commenting is on this post, especially when compared with more political posts. Please allow me to introduce a crossover: Weight classes are the thin end of the wedge for the egalitarianism that ruins societies and sports alike. We take them for granted in boxing and wrestling, but why not sprinting? Shouldn’t we have sprinting weight classes to give the big guys a chance to compete? Think of all the wonderful competitions we’re deprived of by preventing 280-pounders from sprinting against one another. Or marathons. There’s loads of untapped potential in the high 200-range.… Read more »

Mr. Blank
Member
8 years ago

UFC must have changed since the last time I watched it — my recollection was that the best UFC fighters were actually wrestling guys who took the fight to the ground as fast as possible. Has that changed? By the way, when you say “martial arts,” I think what you mean is “Asian-style martial arts.” Most genuine martial artists consider boxing a true “martial art,” just as much as karate or kung fu, and have the highest respect for boxers. I believe Bruce Lee was quite a fan of boxing. As far as Mayweather vs. McGregor — I suspect you’re… Read more »

Brian-guy
Brian-guy
Reply to  Mr. Blank
8 years ago

Fantastic comment regarding their tattoos Mr. Blank. Made me laugh out loud. I remember back in the 90’s when “soon to be NFL bust of eternity” Tony Mandarich, for my beloved Packers opened his mouth to challenge The Champ Iron Mike to a bout. I doubt Mr. Tyson cared one iota about what that “gnat” might think. Although that gnats hairline was somewhere around 6′ 6″. I was truly wishing such a match might become reality but alas it wasn’t meant to be. “The Incredible Bulk” would I’m certain be still smelling the salts in about the time it took… Read more »

Antistotle
Member
8 years ago

Off the mat and outside of the dojo things are very different. There is nothing wrong with either wrestling or karate as sports, but once you get outside where there’s blades and bottles and asphalt it’s a different world. You know what happens when you take someone to the ground and start to pound them outside a bar? Their girl friend kicks you in the face or their buddy breaks a bottle on the back of your head. Or this: https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=907528315959220 If you need to get someone on the ground and keep them from getting up, throw them then put… Read more »

A.T. Tapman
A.T. Tapman
Member
Reply to  Antistotle
8 years ago

A world class bar brawler follows a few essential rules: Never strike with your hands when a suitable object is available. Never follow your opponent to the ground, back off and put the boots to work. Bar fights never seem to materialize from the ether, if you expect aggressive action, ALWAYS strike first and follow the above rules. When your opponent has been vanquished, get out of Dodge with all speed. Never brag after the fact.

Red Headed Stranger
Red Headed Stranger
8 years ago

As long as we’re recommending styles I suggest that people might want to look into daito-ryu aikijutsu. It’s one of the four or five parent arts of aikido. There are many similarities to jiu-jitsu. This is not to get into the “this art is better than that one”, just that it’s worthy of a look.

james wilson
james wilson
8 years ago

Ali bit at the martial artist thing back in the day when fought a Japanese legend in Tokyo. As you predicted the fight lasted about two minutes before the Mr. Kung went to the ground like a crab on it’s back for the duration and wouldn’t get up. Japanese crowds don’t boo but that was a snooze and Ali didn’t sign up for a wrestling match. Still, a boxer should not get into a contest with an actual world class judo guy, but you never see them in bar fights either.

joe_mama
Reply to  thezman
8 years ago

Some food for thought in the link:
http://www.bloodyelbow.com/2016/11/28/13760324/looking-for-fights-mma-fighters-entering-the-boxing-world-ufc
While there is certainly some skills gaps between MMA and boxing, I think you’re putting the boxing guys on too high a pedestal. Grit can take you a long way.

DFCtomm
Member
Reply to  thezman
8 years ago

If you follow the MMA ruleset which is minimal, then he’ll be taken to the ground and beaten to a pulp in the first round, especially if he’s facing a former world class wrestler. Those guys have amazing take downs, but Judo is trickier, but relies too heavily on the gi(traditional martial arts uniform), and that has limited it’s effectiveness in MMA that has no gi. Which goes back to my point in the first post. The process of creating a sport out of a martial art reduces it’s effectiveness as a martial art, but there is no fun in… Read more »

curri
curri
Reply to  james wilson
8 years ago

There’s a wiki article about whatever it was that went on between Ali and wrestler Antonio Inoki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muhammad_Ali_vs._Antonio_Inoki In the days leading up to the fight Ali and Inoki’s representatives began to renegotiate the rules. A list of restrictions was imposed on Inoki. He would not be allowed to throw, grapple or tackle Ali, and could not land any kicks unless he had one knee on the mat.[3] Ali’s camp also demanded that the rules not be made public before the fight. Judo expert and US Marine Donn Draeger noted: “The rules have been so seriously modified that the contest… Read more »

Fuel Filter
Fuel Filter
8 years ago

I tried watching UFC for about two weeks and quickly became bored with it all. The two things I do like about the UFC are the 5 minute rounds and the restraint in calling time for injuries. When I was a kid my dad used to take me to the old Olympic in downtown L.A. to see fights and always watched them on KTLA (11) and KCOP (13). He taught me the best fights were the middleweights for the tactics and action. Currently I always catch the fights of those two Russians (can’t remember their names) who take punishment like madmen,… Read more »

Solomon Honeypickle IV
Solomon Honeypickle IV
8 years ago

McGregor already got his ass handed to him once, and that was just another MMA fighter.

Darryl
Darryl
8 years ago

Imagining Floyd eating a leg kick right now and laughing my head off…

FaCubeItches
FaCubeItches
8 years ago

The original UFC fights (as in the very first couple of tournaments) did have boxers. They lost, and lost badly. Basically, they had no idea how to defend against takedowns, etc. It may go differently with someone like Mayweather, but the other boxers who’ve tried it did not show well.

CaptDMO
CaptDMO
8 years ago

And yet, the BIG battle money goes to WWF(et al), (Jerry)Springer vs Evolution, (Andy)Kaufman vs vaginas, Riggs vs. King, and Stein/Clinton vs “Oh WAIT! Rigged Election Fraud”.

CaptDMO
CaptDMO
8 years ago

As Mr. Obama leaves office after a stunning exhibition of New World Order-Fu,
Mr. Trump drops him with one shot…”Donnie don’t play that!”.
I expect the vanquished to continue “yapping” from the safe-zone behind mommy’s apron of
third tier “comedian” shows, and interviews with recent “communications” grads.
I expect the usual….start a fight, lose, then call the world police, claiming he dindo nuffin.
The CCTV slo-mo instant replay is inadmissible, because of “special” rules of proscecutorial discretion of course, you know, like for Ms. Clinton’s “technical decision”.

Guest
Guest
8 years ago

Boxing is basically dead as a spectator sport, mostly because it has become a defensive sport. This phenomenon probably had its roots in Ali’s rope a dope with Foreman, but Mayweather is certainly a master of winning a boxing match by covering up and not getting hit for 12 rounds. Regulation hasn’t helped, either. Boring. Unwatchable. MMA is cleaning up as a spectator sport precisely because its an offensive sport. MMA fighters have too many tools in the tool bag. You can’t just lean up against the fence in the octagon and cover up to deflect body blows. If you… Read more »

Mark Brinton
Mark Brinton
Reply to  Guest
8 years ago

Ex-wrestler myself; I think you make an observation and then don’t follow it to its logical conclusion; as you state, in street fighting, ground and pound usually wins; that’s exactly how MMA initially started off…it settled, at least at the beginning, who would wln; a Dan Gable or a Bruce Lee…undisputably, early MMA was dominated by grapplers; but, red-queen’s race, strikers, out of necessity, had to develop formidable takedown defenses; MacGregor has emerged as just such a fighter. I’m sure Mayweather would kill in in a straight-up boxing match just as MacGregor would kill him in a MMA venue.

DFCtomm
Member
Reply to  thezman
8 years ago

If you look at the ruleset as a vin diagram then boxing is completely encompassed by MMA rules. The boxer sacrifices nothing from his game in that scenario, and shouldn’t he sacrifice something in this experiment?

Severian
Reply to  Guest
8 years ago

I don’t know anything about MMA, but I know Floyd Mayweather owes me a few hundred bucks for his last few PPV fights. That guy spends more time on his bicycle than Lance Armstrong. Which is why I assume he’d win a fight with anyone slower than him, no matter what the rules — Floyd’s runs away better than the French army (credit where credit’s due, though, he looks good doing it).

a boy and his dog
a boy and his dog
Reply to  Severian
8 years ago

If the recent Ryan Hall fight is any indication, he’d spend the entire match getting kicked in the face while running away from takedown attempts and never get within boxing range.

Drake
Drake
Reply to  thezman
8 years ago

That actually sounds like every MMA championship fight about 10 years ago as all the grapplers like Matt Hughes, BJ Penn, Urijah Faber, and Frank Mir lost their championships to better strikers who could defend against takedowns.

I watch far less MMA now than I used to because I would rather see more wrestling.

el_baboso
Member
8 years ago

From a combatives (basically trying to kill or maim someone who is trying to kill or maim you) perspective, opening with a kick is pretty weak. A kick takes a long time to develop, is pretty easy to react to when you’re fresh, and takes a long time to recover from. Get the nose bleeding or eyes swelling up, then break a rib or cripple a knee with a kick. Like the guy who taught me knife fighting told me, whittle them down before going for the kill. Cut the forearm of the knife hand (blood dripping down on to… Read more »

thor47
thor47
Reply to  el_baboso
8 years ago

Took me ten seconds to learn all I needed to know about knife fights: bring a gun any to place where there may be one. Even better, don’t go there. So I have never been in a knife fight. Still have the first gun, too.

BlindMan
BlindMan
Reply to  thor47
8 years ago

The real rules of fighting 1) don’t go to places where there are many fights 2) avoid getting into a fight if someone is instigating one with you 3) if a person is attacking you although you have made it clear you do not wish to fight this constitutes assault with intent to cause grevious bodily harm 4) a felony is being committed and you are in fear of your life 5) pull out your legally concealed firearm, check your backstop and fire repeatedly at center mass until the aggressor is lying down and unable to continue the assault 6)… Read more »

DFCtomm
Member
Reply to  BlindMan
8 years ago

Ultimately, that is certainly your right, but do you really want to kill some young guy for being a loud mouth drunk asshole? Is that a crime worthy of death? Do you want that on your conscience? I personally would rather kick his ass and let him live to see the error of his ways.

Zeroh Tollrants
Zeroh Tollrants
Reply to  DFCtomm
8 years ago

Any person that pulls a weapon out with the express intent to use said weapon is taking their lives into their own hands and risking death in return. Period. There are no backsies when threatening to harm others.

Signed,
A Grandma

LetsPlay
LetsPlay
Member
Reply to  DFCtomm
8 years ago

And then there’s “What part of LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE” don’t you understand? If the a&&hole doesn’t back off, his tough luck he puts his hands on me. His mistake, not mine.

Anon
Anon
Reply to  DFCtomm
8 years ago

He’s not a loud mouth drunk, he’s a perpetrator of a crime against a person. How do I know the encounter doesn’t end with my death?

Screw him.

Emeritus
Emeritus
Member
8 years ago

I will be the first to admit I know nothing about professional fighting. I have, however, played in bars and clubs all over the world for nearly 60 years, and seen hundreds of bar fights. They seem to follow a set pattern. Nearly all are initiated by a fellow who came to the bar to specifically pick a fight, or protect his reputation as a fighter. The balance are initiated by some guy’s chick, just to see him fight. The ugly fights are two chicks, over some smug guy. Human nature seems to be hard wired to fight to temporarily… Read more »

DFCtomm
Member
8 years ago

You should do Jujitsu. It’s probably the most age friendly and it’s good exercise. You’ll also learn something about martial arts. Two huge insights I got from my experience with them. Practice makes perfect, even if you don’t know what you’re doing. Simply being in many fights removes the anxiety associated with fighting, and getting your ass kicked, and doing something, thoughtfully, allows you to improve even if there is no underlying system or philosophy. Some people just aren’t good at a certain thing, no matter how much they’ve paid someone to teach them, and that explains some of the… Read more »

Solomon Honeypickle IV
Solomon Honeypickle IV
Reply to  DFCtomm
8 years ago

it’s age friendly until the first time you get thrown…

DFCtomm
Member
Reply to  Solomon Honeypickle IV
8 years ago

plenty of gyms don’t do the standup part, or don’t do it very often. Last gym I went to Randori started from a one knee position. If you wanted to do much of any standup you did Judo. However, Judo is the most painful thing you’ll ever do without getting punched.

DFCtomm
Member
Reply to  DFCtomm
8 years ago

also that gym discouraged joint manipulation of the knees, for obvious reasons. The jujitsu was definitely dumbed down for general consumption, but this avoidance of all things that were high percentage causes of injuries meant you went nearly 100% during randori(sparing) and learned that segment very quickly. How you were going to get the guy on the ground, in a fight, if he knew anything at all was your problem.

Rod1963
Rod1963
8 years ago

Rhonda Roussuey is a classic example of what you talk about. She was hyped like crazy and fed a series of ham and egg fighters until her last fight when she went up against a competent kickboxer that destroyed her. She realized she wasn’t the legend she was told she was. Before her, they promoted Brock Lesnar from the WWF, who had mixed results in the ring and steroid problems. That said there’s more than a wiff of WWF style hype in the UFC, I’ve seen them put in fighters who have zero business in the ring and only got… Read more »

teapartydoc
Member
Reply to  Rod1963
8 years ago

And where was that competent kickboxer when she beat Rousey? Could that have taken place in an MMA cage? And didn’t that world champion female boxer then get beaten in her next fight? And that one, too? My goodness. That MMA stuff couldn’t be competitive, could it?
If they were taking all that they would’ve kept milking Rousey for a couple more years. Biggest draw they ever had. No. It’s not fake. It’s not “choreographed”. Those people actually get their butts kicked. One guy got his skull crushed in Bellator a while back.

Bill
Bill
Reply to  Rod1963
8 years ago

Roussuey lost because she tried to fight like a boxer, which she is not. When she fought like the submission artist she is, she dominated. I suspect the rematch will be short and brutal and Roussuey will win.

DFCtomm
Member
Reply to  Bill
8 years ago

I had an instructor once, a great guy, he was a jujitsu/judo black belt, and he was bad. He decided that he was going to do a MMA fight. He trained “MMA” style, and lost badly. Afterward I said good fight, but he said that wasn’t true he sucked. I said you didn’t suck, because that wasn’t you up there. That was your impression of an MMA fighter, and you suck at impressions.

LetsPlay
LetsPlay
Member
Reply to  Bill
8 years ago

I totally agree. That was my summary of the fight. She did not fight “her” fight. She tried to fight standing and trading punches which was dumb. If she would have done her thing, she would have been fine. But as it is, at least she knows her weakness and if a true champion, will work to eliminate that area and build it into a strength.

teapartydoc
Member
8 years ago

I used to watch boxing. Switched to MMA several years back. Boxing is for pussies. When I was a kid I used to get into a lot of fights and I got tired of having my face bashed in by kids that were bigger, older, faster and had longer arms than me. So I bought a Judo book and taught myself. Once I could get a takedown on a guy he was basically done. I was smaller and slower, but also stronger. Getting them to the floor got them into my realm. I always wondered through the years why there… Read more »

Nedd Ludd
Nedd Ludd
8 years ago
joe_mama
8 years ago

I would say you’re right and wrong regarding the skill level in MMA/UFC. I wrestled in high school, and have boxed and train in brazilian jiu-jitsu. In terms of the standup skill level – you’re absolutely right that it’s amateur hour out there. It’s a lot of slop. There are a few gems here and there, but there’s a long way to go. Where I would disagree is in regards to the ground game component. A skilled wrestler (and there are some high level wrestlers in the UFC these days, like Cormier, Cejudo, plenty of All American College guys etc),… Read more »

Georgiaboy61
Member
8 years ago

Zman, your defense of traditional boxing as a sport and martial skill is welcome, for boxing isn’t obsolete – the best practitioners of the sweet science are formidable fighters indeed. We also share in common a love for middle-weight fighters; I too have always enjoyed the lighter and middle-weight bouts for their combination of athleticism, speed, toughness and skill. Still, I grew up in the era of all of those great heavyweight fighters between Ali, Frazier, Foreman and their cohorts – who can forget those? Smokin’ Joe will always be my main man! Where we run into problems is with… Read more »

Drake
Drake
8 years ago

These days MMA fighters are fairly generic. 15 years ago there were guys were were almost pure strikers and others almost pure grapplers. Both breeds are extinct now since a balanced fighter can exploit either weakness – and they all learn take-down and ground defense so well that submissions are more rare now. A Mayweather fight against any high-level MMA fighter would be short. If Mayweather caught him with a couple of good shots, it would be over. If Mayweather missed and got taken down, he would be submitted in seconds. I’ve seen those fights – almost a coin flip… Read more »

Drake
Drake
Reply to  thezman
8 years ago

Right – it would be a farce – like that Ali fight with the Akido guy.

Drake
Drake
Reply to  thezman
8 years ago

Although the old Pride fights were in 7m roped rings. Many of those fights were settled on the ground.

A.T. Tapman (Merica)
A.T. Tapman (Merica)
Member
8 years ago

I am shocked so many here believe in Santa Claus.