My Advice to the Broads

If you go over to the neighborhood google machine and enter “women less happy” you get 284 million results. When you enter “men less happy” you get 246 million results, but it quickly becomes apparent that most of the results are the same as the first search. Scanning through the first dozen or so pages of both queries reveals that the result sets are almost exclusively about women being less happy than men and less happy today than at some point in the dark past.

There was a big study on this half a dozen years ago. This being the modern age, researchers are required to first eliminate the most obvious answers and instead focus on those causes that reinforce the tenets of the One True Faith. These days, the social justice warrior phenomenon where angry young women make a nuisance of themselves, is explained away as the fault of the pale penis people. The fat, blue-haired girl with the face full of fishing tackle may have been born that way, but it’s still your fault.

The truth is, feminism is and was toxic nonsense. A century ago feminism could make some claims to rationality. After all, women in the West did have a strong position in society. Encoding that into the social and political institutions made some sense. By the 1950’s, the happiest period for women in modern history, feminism was at best a stupid fad and at worst, what we have experienced, a suicide cult promising to immiserate women at a scale the Muslims could never imagine.

That’s a good thing to keep in mind. If a woman wants to maximize her happiness, looking back to the 50’s and 60’s is a good place to start. Women in that age got married early. By early, I mean young adulthood, either after high school or after college. Instead of waiting until their life was full of restraints and complexity, they found a husband, with whom they could develop those restraints and complexity.

It turns out that married women are twice as happy as single women. This is a biological fact of life. The females of our species are wired to seek out a high status male, with whom they build a life-long bond. From the point of view of nature, this guarantees the greatest chance of reproductive success. Since it is vastly easier for a young adult female to land a suitable mate than it is for a middle-aged female, getting married early makes the most sense. Sure, the man could be a dud, but there are no guarantees in life.

Similarly, women should try to have their babies by the time they reach thirty. Child bearing is tough on the woman’s body so getting it done in peak physical years makes  the most sense. There’s also the fact that chasing around after a ten year old is easier at 30 than it is at 40 or 50. Kids will wear out even the most fit person so having them when you are at your most fit means you get the most out of being a mom.

That’s the other thing. I’ve met so many women who seem to think they should not enjoy being a mom. They race off to work as soon as they can drop the kids off to daycare and they carry on like their kids are a burden. A woman’s reason for being on earth is to be a mother. That’s pretty much their only reason to be alive. A smart and happy woman will enjoy it as much as possible as life will not be any better than those years as a mother.

Now, the reality of life is that many marriages end in divorce. This is why getting married early makes sense. Finding a replacement man at 35 is easier than at 45 or 55. It’s going to be even easier if you’re not fat. It’s easy to develop bad habits when married, but a woman is going to be happier if she works to keep her figure and look as close to her wedding picture as possible. Letting yourself go is a good way to end up a divorced, bitter middle-aged hen.

This is not just about planning for being a swinging divorcee. Your job as a woman is to make your man happy. Part of that is keeping yourself sexually attractive. This is ground floor biology. By trying to look as close to your wedding photo as possible, you will remind your husband every day why he married you. The main reason men cheat on their wives is sex so a good way to keep your man around is remove that problem from the mix.

Finally, one thing every man in middle-aged and older knows is that women often go bonkers in their middle years. The kids gain independence and suddenly mom has no purpose. The mid-life crisis is far more common for woman than men and it is due to simple biology. The female is here to bear and raise children. Once that is done, finding a suitable reason to get up every morning is not always obvious. Plan for this reality.

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Marina
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Marina

The alt right harps a lot on having kids young, but a simple reality of having a bunch of kids is that you’re unlikely to have all your children when you’re young. Childbearing seems to delay the aging of the reproductive tract and women in high fertility cultures can easily have kids at later ages than some career lady trying for her first at 38. Traditional Catholic women routinely have children (multiple children) in their forties after starting reproducing in their twenties. Many Orthodox Jewish women in their forties take contraceptives so they don’t have a sixth or seventh child.… Read more »

BillH
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BillH

We spread our six over 12 years, and it pretty much worked out the way you describe. Moreover, when the grand kids grow up, the great grand kids come along to keep things lively. Keeps you focused on the future – it’s something to live for in your mid-eighties. I don’t recommend this for the timid or neurotic (which seems to apply to a lot of today’s youngsters), but it has worked for us

Terry Baker
Guest

Why did so many women in the west move away from this obvious and natural fact of life? What happened?

Lorenzo
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Lorenzo

There was a lot of propaganda in the 1970s denigrating housewifery and whooping up the joys and fulfillments of getting sucked into the workforce vortex. Women bought it, wholesale.

Results, among others: lower wages because of increased labor supply making everybody have to work longer and harder, lower reproduction rates, kids raised in institutions from infant daycare through college, millions of unhappy older women and femimist rationalizations that all of the above have “liberated” women.

UKer
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UKer

In both WW1 and WW2 a lot of women went to work, and not surprisingly many of them ended up doing jobs that the men would have done. When both wars were over the women went back to a “normal” life, perhaps happily. Freedom was not having to pour explosives into metal hollows. Making shells or ploughing fields — even, as I read in a woman’s memoirs of ’39-’45, flying aircraft from factory to airfield without maps or radios in the UK and having to memorise where landmarks were — was understandably either tedious and onerous and with it often… Read more »

Notsothoreau
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Notsothoreau

Don’t forget the zero population stuff. That was another factor. I still argue with young women that think the 50s were hell for women.

Wilbur Hassenfus
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Wilbur Hassenfus

My mom talks about getting blasted with “Zero Population Growth” propaganda at a semi-southern women’s college in 1961-1965. Some girls listened, most had enough brains not to. She had three kids — but then dutifully raised us to regard reproduction as a personal catastrophe. She’s still trying to figure out why God cursed her with only two grandchildren, one of them defective.

God didn’t put her on this Earth to think; it’s not her fault it was required of her.

Member

The eugenicists left pretty clear tracks . A lot of the ideology came from the cultural Marxists and a lot of the tactical-level messaging and interaction (proselytizing?) came from the Freudians (we forget the Freudians, now rendered obsolete by psychotropic drugs and tossed aside without much fanfare). But the money and organization came from the eugenicists. When the elites believe that the world is going to breed itself into oblivion, getting whales to cough up cold cash isn’t hard.

FaCubeItches
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FaCubeItches

The cost of raising children got problematic. From a financial standpoint, kids went from being an advantage to being a liability.

Member

Google “women less happy:” 284 million
Google “women MORE happy:” 356 million.

I agree with your main point, but you probably shouldn’t refer to this Google search as substantiation. It’s mostly irrelevant anyway, even Google admits after the first hundred they just make it up.

On a completely unrelated note, I tried to comment with Facebook: error. I tried to comment with Google+: error. I finally got here with Discus, Maybe it’s just my system, but it makes commenting a bit harder.

Lulu
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Lulu

I could have written some of this so will not reprise. You’re mostly right. Somewhere along the line, dropping “broads” would be a good thing, though! Add to the attributes you describe and what is important: Resiliency. I don’t mean mousey, mushy always going along to get along, but the ability to roll with what life presents – good or bad – because any life worth living will have some of each along the way, and probably in multiples. Keeping oneself reasonably attractive is not vanity. It is self-respect. A woman must care about herself if she is to be… Read more »

Jak Black
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Jak Black

You really have no idea that you’re post is riddled with feminist ideas, do you?

Lulu
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Lulu

No. I come from a long line of strong women. Wives, mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers. The trendy label “feminist”, with all that that now entails (particularly among men), is a fairly recent construct. I abhor it. It is possible to be strong, to take care of oneself, and to love and care for others. Including men. And to be a contented person.

fodderwing
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fodderwing

You are right to say “find a man whose values are the same as your own. I ran across stats one time that indicated the more alike two people are, the more successful and happy the marriage.

Fuel Filter
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Fuel Filter

Apart from what Arthur Shopenhauer wrote in his timeless essay “On Women” (an absolute must read for *ALL* men, widely available online) here’s a great take on the state of marriage in America (and the West in general) today. “Matrimony, Holy or Otherwise: A Movable Concentration Camp” Here’s a snippet: ***** Is there any practical advantage at all? For you, I mean. For her, the advantages are considerable, and the drawbacks few. Your salary will allow her an upscale house, something more important to her than to you, which on the odds she will get in the divorce. Marriage locks-in… Read more »

james wilson
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james wilson

We may get an idea of how repressed and unfulfilled American women were back in the day by reading Tocqueville. “An American girl, whatever age, rarely suffers from childish shyness or ignorance. I have often been taken aback and almost scared by the unusual skill and lucky boldness with which these American girls could steer their thoughts through the reefs of lively conversations; a philosopher would have stumbled a hundred times along the narrow path they negotiated with ease and without mishap. If I am asked how we should account for the unusual prosperity and growing strength of this nation,… Read more »

Doug
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Doug

Ya, well if it goes dark as the cultural marxists hope, and chaos rules the night, what Man is going to come to the rescue of these wimmen? Will Men be willing to risk limb and life to defend wimmen from savages? Too late are these wimmen going to find out why Men and Women have figured out through century’s of tradition there are viable and valid reasons for patriarchy and roles each have? Are they going to expect pajama boys to aid them and protect them? Diversity makes for a terrible shield. Feminism is a dull sword with a… Read more »

Bunny
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Bunny

Successful traditional marriage demands more from both sexes. Some men seem to think it just means make me a sammich.

Member

Teeheeheee. Thank you for confirming my reality and smiling at my choices. I’m turning 50 this summer, my oldest child is 26 and she is married with three children (and planning for a couple more before she turns 30, so she says) and my youngest just turned 20. Ahhhhh, now…what to do with my happy self? Excuse me, I have a garden to grow, pysanky to write, dinners to plan and grandbabies to gallop, gallop, gallop

Audacious Epigone
Guest

By way of ordinary least squares, here are the multiple regression coefficients from the GSS with happiness for nine variables that are, in the conventional wisdom, putative predictors of happiness, with the obligatory qualifier that some component of sunniness, of yet undefined magnitude, is innate. For contemporary relevance and to avoid racial confounding, responses are from 2000 onward and only non-Hispanic whites are included. Marital status — .26* (marriage = happiness) Class — .24* (higher status = happiness) Education — .23* (more education = happiness) Age — .18* (youth = happiness) Church attendance — .09* (worship = happiness) Children —… Read more »

Lorenzo
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Lorenzo

Did you check for multicollinearity in the variables? Seems to me there predictor set would be badly infested with it.

Audacious Epigone
Guest

These are multiple regression coefficients so the other dependent variables are all “controlled” for in each of the correlation. This isn’t an exhaustive list, of course, but it does explain why younger people tend to express less happiness than older people do. Youth itself is a predictor of happiness, but many of these other variables that correlate with happiness are predictors of older age.

Nels
Guest
Nels

It sseems likely that there would be a significant interaction between Children and Marriage status. Unmarried women might find children reduce happiness, while married women might find children increase happiness. That might explain the low coefficient on Children. Try re-running your regression with that interaction term.

Francis W. Porretto
Guest

— If a woman wants to maximize her happiness, looking back to the 50’s and 60’s is a good place to start. Women in that age got married early. By early, I mean young adulthood, either after high school or after college. Instead of waiting until their life was full of restraints and complexity, they found a husband, with whom they could develop those restraints and complexity. —

The feminists will try to explain this away as “false consciousness” or “Stockholm Syndrome.” No amount of evidence will suffice to sway them, as theirs is a religious belief.

The Exile
Guest

When I was in my teens and early twenties, I figured that women would mature and become easier to deal with as they got older.

Imagine my surprise when, after being out of the dating pool for almost 20 years, it turned out that these now-older women were mostly neurotic, depressed basket-cases who hated men and, yet, were desperate to find another one to latch on to.

Notsothoreau
Guest
Notsothoreau

Been thinking about this a bit more today. Why don’t we tell people that they need to marry and stay married to do well financially? We all know that it’s almost impossible to make it on a single income. Yet the media pushes the idea that you should get a divorce for personal freedom. It’s crazy. I talked to a customer that couldn’t afford to pay her full internet bill because she’s a single mom. I don’t know what happened to her marriage but it seems to me that they all lose.

Bunny
Guest
Bunny

Women naturally want love, marriage and children and I can’t disagree with much that Zman wrote. That being said, there are a few points of contention. While I realize we’re talking about biological imperatives here, viewing women as primarily breeders whose “only reason to be alive is to be a mother” does not make marriage seem particularly appealing to women. “Now, the reality of life is that many marriages end in divorce. This is why getting married early makes sense.” No, this is why careerism makes sense. When there is a high risk of divorce, it makes sense for women… Read more »

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Blue hat
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Blue hat

Why is it so impossible to say, women led significant and valuable lives. Women have been tested and demonstarted their intelliegence and fortitude and succeeded well beyond what men expected in many fields. Hats off to you ladies – well done we applaud your achievements and are proud of you. Men and women are strongest standing together in defence of our way of life ….but men and women are complements not duplicates. Men also have a powerful trajectory and some of the battles ahead of us will be brutal. All men whether consciously or not know they must prepare for… Read more »

Lulu
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Lulu

I often tell my DH that our 1+1 = 3. How’s that for “feminism”?

Shelby
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Shelby

Amen, blue hat, amen