Exporting The Capital

Sitting in traffic on the Capital Beltway, I started wondering at what point the city just seizes up due to the overload. I was at one of the well known choke points that is just about impossible to avoid, but there are few spots around the beltway that are ever moving at maximum speed. The snarl I was in was at 7:30 PM, which is not all that unusual for DC. The fact is, the major highways around the District are well beyond capacity and there is not much that can be done about it.

It’s not just the beltway or inside it. Northern Virginia has traffic that reminds me of Los Angeles. In fact, the area is a lot like LA now. They say Washington is Hollywood for ugly people and the residential areas now have a similar vibe. It’s that feeling that the people who laid out the roads and neighborhoods were always in crisis mode, putting down streets and houses in an effort to keep pace with the flood of new people. The result is large scale suburban chaos.

Hassling through traffic, I started thinking about the new idea liberals have to reconnect with the little people in flyover country. They want to relocate chunks of the government to the hinterlands.

America’s post-industrial Midwest is far from being the country’s poorest region. To find the direst economic conditions in the United States, one generally has to look toward Appalachia, the Mississippi Delta region, the Rio Grande Valley, and a smattering of heavily Native American counties in the Southwest and Great Plains. What the Midwest’s recent economic struggles bring, however, is not just large-scale political salience but a particular kind of fixability.

The poorest places in the United States have been poor for a very long time and lack the basic infrastructure of prosperity. But that’s not true in the Midwest, where cities were thriving two generations ago and where an enormous amount of infrastructure is in place. Midwestern states have acclaimed public university systems, airports that are large enough to serve as major hubs, and cities whose cultural legacies include major league pro sports teams, acclaimed museums, symphonies, theaters, and other amenities of big-city living.

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But industrial decline has left these cities overbuilt, with shrunken populations that struggle to support the legacy infrastructure, and the infrastructure’s decline tends to only beget further regional decline.

At the same time, America’s major coastal cities are overcrowded. They suffer from endemic housing scarcity, massive traffic congestion, and a profound small-c political conservatism that prevents them from making the kind of regulatory changes that would allow them to build the new housing and infrastructure they need. Excess population that can’t be absorbed by the coasts tends to bounce to the growth-friendly cities of the Sunbelt that need to build anew what Milwaukee, Detroit, and Cleveland already have in terms of infrastructure and amenities.
A sensible approach would be for the federal government to take the lead in rebalancing America’s allocation of population and resources by taking a good hard look at whether so much federal activity needs to be concentrated in Washington, DC, and its suburbs. Moving agencies out of the DC area to the Midwest would obviously cause some short-term disruptions. But in the long run, relocated agencies’ employees would enjoy cheaper houses, shorter commutes, and a higher standard of living, while Midwestern communities would see their population and tax base stabilized and gain new opportunities for complementary industries to grow.

Now, the idiocy of this lies in the general snottiness of the article. Matthew Yglesias is known for being one of those smug stupid people the managerial class is so good at producing. Even so, it would be a good way for solving what is becoming a critical problem in the Imperial Capital. There’s simply no more room. We’re full. In fact, we’re beyond full. Shipping out some of the agencies to places without a lot of people would fix two problems.

Obviously, it ships the people out of the capital, alleviating some of the congestion. Sending Housing and Urban Development to Detroit would be good for Detroit and good for the capital. Detroit has a need for urban development so putting the urban developers right there in the Motor City would be a marriage made in heaven. Even better, Detroit has lots of slums that were in no small way created by the idiocy of the Department of Housing and urban Development.

Now, a lot of government is already spread all over the country. Social Security has a huge facility outside Baltimore. West Virginia is dotted with Federal buildings thanks to former Klansman and US Senator, Robert Byrd. Alaska also has a lot of government due to the vast amount of natural resources that need managing. Still, some states, like Maine, have almost no big Federal installations. Putting the Department of Interior in Caribou Maine would be great for the state economy.

The major benefit of distributing these departments would not be economic. The real benefit is they would lose their value as nesting places for the army of tax eaters and their private sector analogs. If a middle management job with the government meant a posting in Caribou Maine, current temperature -18° C, I’m thinking many of those jobs would go unfilled. Even better, if that department secretary had to phone it in for cabinet meetings, I’m thinking Congress loses interest in them.

Let’s hope the Progs get their wish and we ship the plague of Washington out to the rest of you!

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Tim Newman
7 years ago

Instead of relocating parts of the government, why not slash the size of it and keep the remaining 10% in DC.

Dutch
Dutch
7 years ago

I see it as a way to infect the flyover areas with the Liberal disease. No thanks!

Calsdad
Calsdad
7 years ago

Why don’t we just export the whole damn Feral government to some place like Venezuela?

kokor hekkus
kokor hekkus
Reply to  Calsdad
7 years ago

Antarctica would be better….

krautokee
krautokee
Reply to  kokor hekkus
7 years ago

Maybe John Kerry was scouting locations.

Wilbur Hassenfus
Wilbur Hassenfus
7 years ago

Hell no, not Maine! Leave us alone.

Maine? What Maine? Never heard of it. No such state. You must be thinking of Missouri. These are not the moose you’re looking for.

What a goddam nightmare that would be. We already have too many assholes from Massachusetts up here.

Keep Maine Shitty! It’s one of the last halfway decent places left.

Robert-in-the-middle
Robert-in-the-middle
Reply to  Wilbur Hassenfus
7 years ago

Oh heck no, we don’t need no stinking lefties in Missouri. Long live fly-over-country!

Chiefillinicake
Chiefillinicake
Reply to  Wilbur Hassenfus
7 years ago

You need not fear of Maine not being shitty.

timalex
timalex
7 years ago

This is your dumbest idea!! I live in Kansas not for its democratic potential, but for the “quality of life.” The people we
would end up with would be the losers from DC or P-town. Or a bunch of welfare seekers from Somalia, Allepo (sp?), Afghanistan. No thanks, leave us alone.

Shelby
Shelby
7 years ago

Why not make the senators and representatives work from their home states and come to the capital once a year? With all the modern technology why must they all be there year round. They should be more reachable to the people that they represent.

LetsPlay
LetsPlay
Member
Reply to  Shelby
7 years ago

Well now you’re being completely unreasonable. Can you imagine the kink that would put in the workings of lobbyists, campaign funding machinations and deal making? Working from home would make those “closed door” and friendly get-togethers for strategizing against the Deplorables just that much more difficult. And besides, it’s more fund to hang around with “your” kind of people and not “those” kind.

JohnTyler
JohnTyler
7 years ago

Abolishing about 90% of all the Federal Agencies would be a far quicker and more effective way of alleviating traffic congestion in and around the DC area. It would also eliminate the “need” to fund these vast parasitic cesspools that suck up the citizenry’s money and destroy individual freedoms. Scattering federal agencies around the nation will just metastasize the cancer that is destroying our nation and make it more difficult to eradicate. Once a federal agency is ensconced in some other area, the local authorities will want to maintain its presence because it will provide (sales, income) tax revenue to… Read more »

Drake
Drake
Reply to  JohnTyler
7 years ago

Yes! Don’t lever the fever escape the swamp. Look at how it’s spread has already destroyed Virginia.

MSO
MSO
7 years ago

Freeze their pay and turn off the air conditioning; climate change don’t you know?

Drake
Drake
Reply to  MSO
7 years ago

I was thinking along those lines. You could probably get the Democrats to support a bill requiring only “renewable” sources of electricity be used in the District. Then, Perry’s Energy Department could ensure that no such sources exist (as a last at before shuttering the Department).

Dick Stanley
Reply to  MSO
7 years ago

Instead of draining the swamp, Trump can recreate the swamp D.C. was built on.

Rod1963
Rod1963
7 years ago

No way!! This simply infests flyover country with a bunch of liberal parasites – IOW turn red areas blue. If you are going to put them anywhere, put them in a nasty area like the Mojave Desert say the city of Trona or maybe San Jose. The former is a hell hole and the latter is a already a stinking liberal cesspit albeit a very expensive one. If we put them in Trona, we can build their facilities from the tens of thousands of shipping containers sitting in our ports. Slap a A/C unit on the site and put some… Read more »

Member
7 years ago

Had a long argument over a week or two regarding this topic on social media recently. It is a horrid idea. The premise is that “moving” HUD to Detroit would literally mean that HUD moves its entire operation to Detroit. That is not going to happen. They’ll scare-quote “move”, but the mother ship will remain in DC close to the $$$ and close to the lobbyists. What you’ll get is a 30% increase in manpower, all the same crap still in DC, and now you’ve got an infestation of Federal bureaucrats harassing the population. The funny part about the other… Read more »

james wilson
james wilson
7 years ago

I’d rather, one time only, join the Progs in their worship of wetlands, and return DC to it’s natural state. Right after I move the UN to Lagos.

kokor hekkus
kokor hekkus
7 years ago

“Alaska also has a lot of government due to the vast amount of natural resources that need managing.” Makes me wonder how all those natural resources got along for millions of years without Federal bureaucrats!

thor47
thor47
Reply to  kokor hekkus
7 years ago

Good luck, and lots of it, that’s how. Might almost make you think there is a God, and some kind of order in the cosmos. Hmmm . . . naah.

Chazz
Chazz
7 years ago

First the hiring freeze, then Homeland Security to El Paso, Department of Energy to Midland, and Department of Eduction to Wichita.

Karl Hungus
Karl Hungus
7 years ago

relocate 90% of federal employees to the private sector!

LetsPlay
LetsPlay
Member
7 years ago

Hell no! Simply moving things around is not the answer. The answer to government is to get rid of most of it. Regarding getting moving people back to the midwest, I think the government could use some incentives to motivate people to relocate and reconsider their “life goals” regarding living in paradise. Seems everyone has flocked to paradise, where ever that may be and made it a living hell. And the places they have left have been left a living hell or deteriorated into one. I want to hear Trump say these words to many on the Federal payroll who… Read more »

Drake
Drake
7 years ago

“the major highways around the District are well beyond capacity and there is not much that can be done about it.”

I can think of a few things… All of them would also go a long way towards balancing the budget and lowering the need for taxes.

Member
Reply to  Drake
7 years ago

Yup. Zman suffering a lack of imagination here. Turn all interstates around DC into toll roads, then set the tolls just high enough so that supply meets demand. Hmm. Supply and demand. It’s as if economics applies to people’s commuting choices.

Crispin
Crispin
Reply to  Leonard
7 years ago

Too easy to scam.
Soon enough, a free toll pass will be a standard perc for all the gubbmint nobs.
Only the little people will get hit by that.

The offices should be moved to distant locations.

EPA in California. They like that crap there. Energy to Oklahoma, or Eastern Kentucky.
Education… well, education, if not abolished outright, would be best located in Wolf Point Montana.
Wolf Point is a place where real people live & work hard. Riff raff doesn’t thrive there. A perfect healing place for a meddling, useless, destructive bureaucracy like that.

Alex
Alex
7 years ago

The Cincinnati IRS office was st the core of the conservative targeting scandal. Need not worry about infecting the rest of the country, it’s already happened…

Larry Darrell
Larry Darrell
7 years ago

Relocating from D.C. may be a good idea; what is so out-of-touch is the idea that pol’s from the other 80% of the country would vote to relocate all that juicy spending to 20% of the country (Midwest) because some dork like Goldberg or Kristol thinks “it might work” or it might help some war-loving pol from the White House he befriended twenty years ago.

Epaminondas
Member
7 years ago

If you ship federal bureaucrats out into flyover country, they will just become part of a greater occupation force. No thanks.

Fred
Member
7 years ago

Actually, let’s just build a big wall around DC and let them starve. Fuck me? No, fuck them!!!

Mr. Blank
Member
7 years ago

The military spreads its bases around, partly out of a self-interested desire to maximize political support. Having an important military base in one’s district tends to concentrate the mind of an elected official like nothing else. I don’t see any reason why the feds couldn’t do the same thing.

If it were up to me, I’d put the Supreme Court in rural Wyoming or Alaska. Justices should be as far from the influence of the rest of the country as possible. Hell, I’d move them to Guam if I could.

A.T. Tapman
A.T. Tapman
Member
Reply to  Mr. Blank
7 years ago

But the Supremes may cause Guam to flip over and sink!

Member
7 years ago

Concentrating all the crap in Washington has its good points, for example isolating the rest of us from their taint or having them all in one convenient place if the time comes when they need to be rounded up and liquidated.

Al from da Nort
Al from da Nort
7 years ago

Time for a warm cup of cocoa for anyone who thinks that the size or cost of the FG would go down this way. Lots of liaison slots with more travel budget would be the first priority. Of course the upside would be telling the SES’s that their position has been moved to Fargo and they can resign or mover there. While it is fun to think about, pay would have to up a lot to attract a few competent people that are needed to carry the vast load of affirmative action hires in seeming compliance with their bureaus’ legal… Read more »

Karl Horst (Germany)
Karl Horst (Germany)
7 years ago

I would encourage Americans who are tired of all the craziness to head back to Europe. Ireland has the most open policy for Americans of Irish heritage as one need only prove your Grandparents were Irish should you want to head to the emerald Island. The weather’s not so great, but the people are very friendly and you won’t feel crowded. The UK is also pretty easy for Americans, even to the point if you have an English born mother you are entitled to UK citizenship. There is still plenty of open area north and north west of London and… Read more »

Jack
Jack
7 years ago

On a smaller scale, that’s what Texas needs to do with Austin. It is a pit of Progs in a red state. Travis County is where they get the Democrat District Attorneys who like to press trumped up charges against Republican politicians. So take all the state offices and spread them around. Gerrymander much? Why not.

Likewise, spread the leftists bureaucrats around the country so Maryland and Virginia can be red state, too.

BlogDog
BlogDog
7 years ago

My late father was in the Foreign Service and I spent most of my life in the NoVa suburbs. But the town we lived in was a *town* back then. Now it’s just solid megaplex as the entire Northern Virginia area continues it’s Tysons Cornering. I still live her, albeit a bit further out and I hate this. I don’t even have to “Beltway bash” and I hate it.
I want a damn cabin in the woods somewhere, albeit with an internet connection and maybe a Costco that’s not a full hour’s drive away.

Teapartydoc
Member
7 years ago

I don’t think getting sections of government away from the seat of power has any beneficial effects in the long run. Two cases in point: Springfield, Illinois, and Constantinople. In both cases functions of government were moved away from the old seat of power, yet the corruption continued apace. On the other hand, keeping them all in one place gives us something to hate in an objective manner. When the revolution comes we all know where to go.

Al from da Nort
Al from da Nort
Reply to  Teapartydoc
7 years ago

Teaparttydoc;
Not to get all OCD on you, but Springfield IL as the state capital was an 1830’s political compromise location somewhat midway between the established banking center at that time – 1830’s – of Shawneetown lL with Ohio River Basin logistical advantages, and the upstart primitive trading post of Ft Dearborn (aka Chicago) with potential Great Lakes basin logistical advantages.

As many another military oriented commenter has already said: Amateurs pay attention to tactics, pros pay attention to logistics

Teapartydoc
Member
Reply to  Al from da Nort
7 years ago

You just made my point. The capitol was not located at the center of power even then. So locating the political organs away from the centers of power makes no difference.

Noid
Noid
7 years ago

1) If memory serves, DC went 127% for Clinton. Is this just another strategem to drop great gobs of reliable D-voters in places where they can overwhelm native voting patterns?

2) Nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCbfMkh940Q

Dick Stanley
7 years ago

You poor bastard, what an awful place to live. (I grew up in northern Virginia but got out soon as I could). What do you know, a sensible idea from the Dims. But it’s too logical to be implemented.

Chuckie
Chuckie
7 years ago

“I was at one of the well known choke points that is just about impossible to avoid” Reminds me of the Springfield area; was it? Haven’t been there since 2002 but grew up in DC metropolitan area, most of the time in Alexandria. I went to high school not too far away from Springfield, VA, and even then traffic was always a nightmare in the Springfield area. At that time, there were little houses with big grassy yards with trees and honeysuckle bushes, some with a goat or pony even, on the perimeter of my high school’s property. The “campus”… Read more »

Irwin Mainway
Irwin Mainway
7 years ago

Govt service should be like serving in the military.

Make feds & legislators move to a different city every few years.

Pay should be tied to military pay scales.

Every other year legislatures are moved aboard an aircraft carrier on extended deployments.

See how many DC barnacles manage to cling beyond one week at sea.