Note: This is a post from behind the green door. I am taking the animals to the vet first thing in the morning, so I had not time to write. A few month ago Paul Ramsey mentioned this movie, so I gave it a watch and wrote a review. The description of the film is not a joke. This is a real film available on Amazon.
The reason to watch a B-movie is they are often unintentionally funny because they are so poorly made, or they have ridiculous premise. The film Killer Clowns from Outer Space has a cult following because of its absurdity. The people working in this segment of the entertainment industry have no illusions about what they are doing, so they hire the most cynical writers and the most desperate actors.
There are exceptions and one of them is Ooga Booga, a film written and directed by a long time B-movie maker named Charles Band. He has been in the B-movie business for half a century. He is the creator of the Puppet Master series, which has a cult following for some reason. So far, fifteen films have been created in the series, all heading straight to home video.
Mr. Band is known for horror and sci-fi films featuring puppets and Ooga Booga falls into that category, assuming such a category officially exists. What makes this film stand out is that it is 90-minutes of vulgar hatred of white people. The film is a crude expression of what Hollywood people think about white society, but it is so poorly executed that it comes off as unintentional self-parody.
The film starts on the set of a local children’s show. There is a cartoonish farm girl doing kids entertainment stuff. She then signals for another actor to come on stage, but he does not arrive. The scene shifts to the backroom where a man wearing a pig nose is pleasuring himself while drinking white liquor. The producer comes in and drags him out onto the stage where he then says crude things.
The producer then fires pig man and we cut to a scene in a swanky apartment where an idealized black guy, IBG for short, comes home to his strong black female, SBF, to announce that he passed the medical exam. They are about to get funky when the phone rings and it is Pig Man asking IBG for help. Of course, IBG breaks of the funky time and goes to help Pig Man.
Pig Man explains to IBG that he has this scheme to get rich selling dolls that depict the oppressed in unflattering ways. The Asian doll has big, bucked teeth and the gay doll is outrageously gay looking. The black doll is an African savage, of course, with a bone in his nose. He is Ooga Booga, and the Pig Man then says some things based on black stereotypes. IBG takes offense but agrees to accept the doll as a gift.
After rendering no help at all. IBG then leaves and stops at a convenience store, which is then robbed by three white meth heads. IBG is hiding in the back as the meth heads execute the clerk and then leave with some snacks. IBG calls the police and tries to render help by dragging the dying clerk around the floor, because he learned that in medical school.
Two cops arrive. One is Racist Cop and one is Antiracist Cop. We know this because Racist Cop lets out with a string of cliches about black people and shoots IBG. He then takes the gun from Antiracist Cop and shoots IBG again to make sure he is dead, while explaining to Antiracist Cop that he cannot say what really happened because his gun was used to kill IBG.
The cops leave and the slushy machine then starts to make noise. Soon, slushy mix is spilling out in volumes far greater than the machine could hold while lightning bolts come out of the top. The slushy mix crosses the floor and touches IBG and the Ooga Booga doll that he had brought with him. Then something magical happens and the doll disappears without explanation.
Next, we are in the office a judge who is calling the two cops “honky” for some reason while telling them they are lucky he rigged their case. Then we are in the apartment of IBG, and we see SBF trying to be sad while looking at a picture of IBG, but she is such a terrible actress it looks like she is about burst out laughing. It is a touching scene if you have ever dreamt of murdering your spouse.
This is where Ooga Booga shows up. Keep in mind that he is a twelve-inch-tall doll, who somehow made it several blocks from the store and up several flights of stairs. He then chases SBF around the apartment until she hides in the bathroom. He then carves his name on the table using his toy spear. At this point she suspends all disbelief and accepts that this twelve-inch cannibal doll is IBG.
Then we are in the trailer of the three meth heads. The point of this scene is to tell us that white people are all meth smoking crackers. Then we are back in the apartment of IBG who is smoking reefer. Apparently SBF left for some reason. The landlord bursts in shouting generally accurate but prohibited things about black people. Ooga Booga gets angry and kills the landlord with his tiny spear.
On the street, SBF is accosted by the three white meth heads. They debate whether to gang rape her or sell her into slavery. They choose rape. She then comes home to take a shower, while Ooga Booga masturbates watching her. I did not make that up. It is an actual scene in this movie. One has to assume it was the writers who were smoking weed when they wrote part of the film.
At this point, Ooga Booga and SBF agree to go on a revenge-murder spree. The judge sends Racist Cop to investigate what is happening with the white meth heads, who we learn are in charge of the judge’s drug and prostitution rackets. This brings everyone to a trailer park filled with the sorts of white people the makers of this film imagine are the standard issue white person.
Ooga Booga then kills an old woman. Then SBF helps Ooga Booga kill the meth heads with his tiny spear. Somewhere along the way SBF ambushes Antiracist Cop thinking he is a racist cop, but he shows her a pic of his wife, who is also a strong black female and they have a couple of caramel-colored kids. SBF thanks him for being a good ally and does not kill him. This is real and it happens.
Eventually SBF and Ooga Booga kill Racist Cop. Ooga Booga then shows up in the judge’s office and kills him. In the final scene, a case full of cash shows up at the apartment door of SBF. Inside is a note from Pig Guy who got rich selling his dolls in China, so he sent what he considers to be a fair share to IBG. The lesson is that racism is fine if you can “get yo chips” or something like that. The end.
If you can look past the terribleness of the film and the ridiculous premise, it is a good look inside the head of the typical Hollywood person. It is a crudely drawn version of the stylish TV series Mad Men. In this telling, blacks are innocent victims of evil, selfish white people. In the scene where SBF is supposed to be mourning, she says something about how they had a great life until whitey arrived.
Even though this is a terrible film, it is a good reminder that the people behind these antiwhite pogroms are not amenable to reason. Their complaint is not about anything that can be addressed, but about the existence of white people. The war on whiteness is not just a war on specific things or even on white people. It is a war on the very humanity of white people. To them, we are just talking pigs.
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